


All The Other Boys Just Want Your Sex (I Just Want Your Text)

by davidpatricks, deathbysandblk



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst with a Happy Ending, Long-Distance Friendship, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, drunken texting, i think of this as a mix of angst and fluff, i'm here to rip your heart out but do it so fluffily you won't mind, mentions of drug usage, open fic night, open fic night 2k19, texting au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-21
Packaged: 2020-04-23 07:59:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 28,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19146823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/davidpatricks/pseuds/davidpatricks, https://archiveofourown.org/users/deathbysandblk/pseuds/deathbysandblk
Summary: David was high when he put his number on the wall of a bathroom in New York. He never expected what would happen as a result.Patrick, having recently been broken up with again, was bored and needed something to do. When he spotted the number on the bathroom wall, he decided to text it.





	1. David's POV

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Julia and Emma here! Welcome to our open fic night fic! We hope you enjoy your stay. A couple things to note: we literally googled restaurants in New York and picked one so we have no idea what Per Se is like at all. Also, did I spend an hour meticulously trying to find the proper area code for Patrick's number? Yes, yes I did and it was worth every minute!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://open.spotify.com/user/223qeh7jwisef577h3awdgtui/playlist/1QBn0Cn6YJBu37ncIoUguU?si=yVePH5mNTs6iGqSJhVbkQw
> 
> This is the link to the playlist we made that goes along with this fic!

He did it on a whim. Thinking back on it, it was probably a really dumb idea to write his number on the wall of the bathroom at Per Se. But David had a tendency to act first, think and cringe about his actions later. And it’s not like anyone would see it and text him anyway. 

He was in the middle of his nighttime routine when his phone buzzed. He figured it was probably one of his friends asking to go clubbing and normally, he would just go, but he could not fathom putting his body through that for the second night in a row. He finished up in the bathroom, shut off the lights, and flopped down onto his bed in his apartment and grabbed his phone. He was surprised to see that it was from an unknown number. 

 

[From 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 9:37pm

**Wow, leaving your number on a bathroom stall, you must be desperate.**

 

David wasn’t sure how to feel about this text. He didn’t know if the person just texted him to be an asshole or what, but he had to admit, he was intrigued. He decided to fire back a response and see how the person took it. That’s how he would gauge whether this person was trolling him or not. 

 

[To 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 9:38pm

_ Umm well you're the one texting a number you found on a bathroom stall so I think that says more about you than me tbh _

 

[From 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 9:41pm

**You, I like you. Forget what I said before, I'm glad I texted you.**

 

[To 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 9:42pm

_ What? Giving in so quickly? I expected more from you. _

 

[To 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 9:42pm

_ And you don't even know me, how do you know you like me? What if I'm a murderer? _

 

[From 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 9:44pm

**Well, ARE you a murderer?**

 

[To 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 9:47pm

_ *puts ax away* ...noooo _

 

[From 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 9:50pm

**Okay, for real, are you a murderer because I'd love to not get murdered today.**

 

[To 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 9:52pm

_ Hmm well, you texted me so I’m thinking you’re not that worried I am one. _

 

[From 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 9:53pm

**You got me there. The truth’s out. I’m not that worried. So why’d you put your number on a bathroom wall?**

 

[To 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 9:55pm

_ Why’d you text a number written on a bathroom wall? _

 

[From 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 9:56pm

**I asked you first so seriously, why’d you do it?**

 

[To 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 9:59pm

_ I’ll make you a deal. I’ll tell you why I did it if you tell me why you texted my number. _

 

[From 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:02pm

**Okay, I’ll take that deal.**

 

[To 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:03pm

_ I was admittedly very high at the time and thought it was a good idea and that’s the truth. Okay, your turn. _

 

[From 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:07pm

**I just broke up with my girlfriend...again...and was looking for...hmm I don’t really know what I was looking for. Comfort? Friendship?**

 

[To 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:12pm

_ Well truth be told, I don’t know how comforting I will be, but I am willing to listen if you wanna talk about it. _

 

Woah, what was he doing? A complete stranger texted him and he was offering to listen to all of their problems? Was he still drunk from the night before? But he liked talking to this person. This person that he now realized he knew nothing about, not even their name.

 

[To 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:13pm

_ Before you start though, I need to know something. _

 

[From 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:15pm

**Okay? What is it?**

 

[To 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:16pm

_ What’s your name? I feel like if you’re gonna tell me about your ex then we should at least be on a first name basis. _

 

[From 9059047756] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:18pm

**Umm, well you offered so like maybe don’t act so inconvenienced by it?! But my name’s Patrick.**

 

[To Patrick] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:19pm

 

_ Okay, Patrick, well I didn’t mean to be offensive, you can tell me whatever you like. And my name is David. _

[From Patrick] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:22pm

**Okay, David, well if you are sure that it’s okay with you, it would be really great to talk about it.**

 

[To Patrick] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:22pm

_ Go ahead. _

 

[From Patrick] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:27pm

**So we have been dating on and off again since high school and we always have these big fights for dumb reasons that always end with us breaking up. This time it was because I was working too much and didn’t have time to spend with her. I try really hard to please her but sometimes I get swamped and just have to focus on work, you know?**

 

[To Patrick] Sat. May, 24 2014 10:29pm

_ Okay like I don’t think we are at the stage where I’m ready to discuss your sex life tbh. _

 

[From Patrick] Sat. May, 24  2014 10:32pm

**What? Oh god, no, that’s not what I meant, I just meant she seems to think that I can just magically have enough money to buy nice things for her and have enough time to spend with her.**

 

[To Patrick] Sat. May, 24 2014 10:35pm

_ Oh, Patrick, you make me laugh. I was just fucking with you. But seriously, she sounds like she’s being a bit unreasonable? At least in my opinion. A person can’t spend all their time with someone and they shouldn’t. It doesn’t seem healthy, but I mean, what do I know? I let people literally fuck me up and drop me faster than a person drops burnt toast into the trash. _

 

David watched as the three little dots appeared and disappeared over and over again for the next few minutes. He needed to clear the air and apologize for making things too dark, something he knew he did far too often.

 

[To Patrick] Sat. May, 24 2014 10:42pm

_ I said too much, didn’t I? Ugh, this was fun while it lasted but I’ll see myself out… _

 

[From Patrick] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:46pm

**No, you don’t have to go. I just don’t quite know how to react to what you said. I’m sorry people treat you badly.**

 

[To Patrick] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:50pm

_ Okay, well, that’s sweet, but I don’t really do human emotion. Plus, this conversation was supposed to be about you so let's go back to that, shall we? What do you think you’re going to do? _

 

[From Patrick] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:51pm

**I don’t know. It’s only a matter of time before she comes crawling along, begging me to take her back.**

 

[To Patrick] Sat. May 24, 2014 10:51pm

_ Have you ever considered maybe not doing that? _

 

The notification that Patrick had read the message popped up, and David anxiously waited for a response. He shouldn’t have been so hasty sending that. What was he doing saying something like that to a person he barely knew? He didn’t know Patrick and he definitely didn’t know his ex-girlfriend or their dynamic. Maybe they really were meant to be together. David had no business telling someone anything about relationships, that was one thing he knew for sure.

 

He was sure Patrick hated him. David stared in horror at his phone for half an hour before giving in and sending one final message.

 

[To Patrick] Sat. May 24, 2014 11:21pm

_ Okay, well, I’m sorry if I overstepped, but I’m gonna go to bed. Hope things work out for you, Patrick. _

 

***

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 9:45am 

**Hey, sorry, I wasn’t trying to ignore you, I just fell asleep last night.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 1:37pm

_ Ugh, no offense, but don’t EVER text me at such an ungodly hour again. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 1:38pm

**Hmm, not a morning person, huh?**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 1:38pm

_ No, god no. And I never will be so if we’re gonna pursue a friendship, you need to learn these things now. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 1:40pm

**Aww, you wanna pursue a friendship with me? So sweet.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 1:43pm 

_ Okay, I know we just technically, but not technically met yesterday, but I’m like 87% sure you’re mocking me and I will not stand for this. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 1:47pm

**But can you sit for it though?**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 2:03pm

_ Okay, you know what? You don’t deserve my friendship so I’m just gonna go. _

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 2:35pm

_ Wow, you’re gonna let me leave, just like that? _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 2:35pm

**There it is. I knew you’d cave.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 2:38pm

_ Says the guy who texted instantly once I sent a message. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 2:39pm

**Yeah...and? I never said I was leaving, that was you.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 2:41pm

_ You are truly infuriating. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 2:44pm

**And yet, you keep coming back. I’m getting the sense that maybe you find me a little less infuriating than your texts would indicate.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 2:48pm

_ Nope, I’m pretty sure I find you infuriating. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 2:50pm

**See, you say that but then simultaneously say things like “pretty sure”. So which is it, David?**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 2:55pm

_ Okay, this isn’t happening. Clearly, you already have a bit of an ego and I don’t want to feed it, so what I’m proposing is that we change the topic. Do you have anything fun planned for this lovely Sunday evening? _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:00pm

**Not really. I’ll probably just read my book. What about you?**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:01pm

_ I actually have a date tonight. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:04pm

**I hope you have fun!**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:07pm

_ What, no sassy comment about that? Have you run out of minutes or something? _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:09pm

**Have I run out of minutes? David, what year are you in? We both have iPhones and I think that’s pretty evident by the blue text and the three little dots that pop up whenever the other person is typing.**

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:09pm

**Also, I genuinely meant what I said. I hope you have a good date!**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:11pm

_ And there it is again. I’m just not used to this. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:13pm

**Used to what?**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:16pm

_ People wishing for things in my life to go well? People actually caring? Genuineness? I don’t know, take your pick. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:19pm

**You know, we’ve been texting for less than 24 hours and already that’s the third time you’ve alluded to some pretty dark stuff. Are you okay?**

 

“Are you okay?”, Patrick had texted him. David sat there and stared at his phone trying to remember the last time somebody, anybody had asked him that. He couldn’t think of an instance. His sister Alexis was off, god knows where and his parents, well, he didn’t really see much of them. His father was always busy with meetings or business conventions or whatever and his mother was off galavanting around with her celebrity friends, desperately trying to be on the cover of some magazine or another with their fancy dinners and parties. And as for himself, well, he lived alone in an apartment in New York City surrounded by people and yet, feeling lonely and empty inside.

 

It’s not like he had any reason to feel like that though. He ran several very successful art galleries, he had been born into a family with wealth, fame, and privilege--things a lot of people would kill for--and yet, he felt this way.

 

He snapped out of his thoughts and realized he hadn’t even responded to Patrick’s question. And honestly? He wasn’t quite sure how to respond.

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:30pm

_ I’m okay, I promise. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:31pm

**Are you sure? Because if you need to talk, I’m here for you.**

 

Who was this person and why did he insist on being so nice? Nice was not a character trait in a lot of people David hung out with and admittedly, it wasn’t super present in himself either, or at least, it didn’t really come naturally to him. His therapist had once told him this was because he used humor as a coping mechanism and so, therefore, didn’t ever really want to delve deep into issues. He certainly had never had someone be so forward about the fact that he would be willing to listen to him if he needed it, well, someone who didn’t charge hundreds of dollars an hour, that is.

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:36pm

_ Thank you. Really. It’s very sweet of you to offer, but I assure you I am okay. I need to go start getting ready for my date now, but I’ll talk to you later okay? _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 3:37pm

**You’ll have to tell me all about it when you get back! :)**

 

***

 

David slammed the door to his apartment and flopped down onto his couch. That date had not gone well at all. David should’ve seen that coming from the start when he arrived 15 minutes late already drunk, but well, he had agreed to go on this date and he had decided to give the guy a chance. In retrospect, that was an exceedingly dumb idea, but oh well. He couldn’t go back and change the fact he had stayed.

 

He checked the time on his phone and saw that it was already past 10:30. Patrick had told him to tell him all about the date earlier, but he wasn’t even sure if Patrick would be awake and he really didn’t want to wake him up.

 

He put his phone aside and sat staring at the ceiling for about 30 seconds before he gave in. He wanted to text Patrick and even if he wasn’t awake, he would at least wake up to a message from him.

 

David had never really had a friend like Patrick before, well, if Patrick counted as a friend. He wasn’t sure because it wasn’t like they had known each other for long and they didn’t even know what the other looked like, but whatever. Patrick had seemed genuinely interested in what he had to say and he was interested in what Patrick had to say and that’s why he went ahead and sent the text.

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 10:47pm

_ Hey, I’m sorry if I’m waking you up or something, but I just got home from my date and it was a nightmare. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 10:48pm

**Oh no. What happened?**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 10:53pm

_ So I was sitting at the table, right, because we had agreed to meet at the restaurant and 8:00 comes and goes and there’s still no sign of him and so I thought I’d been stood up again, but then he shows up 15 minutes late...drunk off his ass. And so I should have left then, but I didn’t and so the rest of dinner was just him drunkenly rambling about himself and some club he’s a member of and then towards the end of dinner, he just assumed we were heading back to my place and when I said I didn’t feel like doing anything tonight, he stormed off and left me with the bill which is like whatever, but yeah it just wasn’t a good experience. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 10:57pm

**Oh my god, that’s awful. I’m so sorry, David.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 10:59pm

_ Eh, I’m pretty used to people like him. But anyway, how was your night? _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 11:01pm

**Umm, you do not get to gloss over things like that and just switch the subject, David. Listen, I know we don’t know each other hardly at all, but nobody, especially not you, deserves to be treated like that. Okay?**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 11:04pm

_ It’s how everybody treats me, Patrick. Sex is all I’m good for and I couldn’t even do that right tonight. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. May 25, 2014 11:11pm

**How can you say that, David? That’s not true! Don’t say that.**

 

David couldn’t reply anymore. It’s not that he was mad at Patrick. He knew Patrick meant well or at least he assumed he did, but he just didn’t understand.

 

David plugged his phone in the charger and laid back on his bed, thinking. He hoped Patrick didn’t hate him now. He was sure Patrick would stop texting him after he had admitted such a thing. He really needed to stop telling all his deepest darkest secrets to this guy he barely knew, but he couldn’t help it. There was just something so inviting about him that made him want to talk to him and now he had gone and ruined everything. 


	2. Patrick's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I just have one thing I need to say and it's this: I realize it's not very likely that a real-life boss would let someone go home just because they didn't sleep well the night before, but please for my sake, just suspend your disbelief please haha

Patrick was fairly certain David hated him at this point. He had left him on read after Patrick had sent that last message. He hoped David didn’t think he was judging him or something. That’s not what he was doing at all, he was just very concerned about David.

 

Based on the little David had told him about himself,  he could already tell that David had been through some shit and so to hear him say that sex was the only thing he was good for? Well, that made him sad. He was really enjoying getting to know David and he was afraid he had ruined everything now because of what he had said. He decided to just apologize and then if David left that message on read, well, at least he would have tried.

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 12:07am

**I’m sorry. You’re probably mad at me and honestly, I’m mad at myself. I really like talking to you and I was just concerned, but I apologize for upsetting you.**

 

Patrick put his phone off to the side and tried to get to sleep, but he couldn’t. He just kept thinking about David and all the things he had told him how he wasn’t used to people being nice to him, how he “literally lets people fuck him up and drop him faster than a person drops burnt toast into the trash”, and now this, how he feels sex is the only thing he’s good for. Patrick just wished there was a way for him to show David that he was worth more than that.

 

Patrick was startled out of his thoughts when his phone buzzed. Thinking it was David, he dove for it but was disappointed to see that it was a text from Rachel.

 

[From Rachel] Mon. May 26, 2014 12:23am

I’ve been thinking about you.

 

Patrick rolled his eyes and then deleted the text. He had been wondering when she would start to try to worm her way back in. This was the way things always worked between them. Things were okay for a while, then they started to bicker about little things here and there, and then they would have a big fight that blew up with them exchanging ugly words and insults, and then they would break up, Patrick would go back to his parents’ house, and then she would text him, trying to get back in his good graces.

 

He wasn’t sure he was ready to try things again with Rachel yet. He kept thinking back to what David had said to him when he told him he always went back to her. “Well, have you ever considered not doing that?”. The words played over and over in his head, even though David had only texted them to him. He imagined the voice he heard saying those words was David’s since he had never actually heard what he sounded like.

 

He had told David that he had fallen asleep that night, but in truth, he hadn’t. David’s words had kept him up, haunting him. And now, this time, it was his own words that were haunting him and a deep, overwhelming feeling that he had fucked up big time.

 

***

 

Dazed and half-asleep, Patrick jolted awake as his phone buzzed. He hesitated to even look at it considering it was probably just Rachel again and he really did not want to talk to her at present. He risked a glance anyway and saw that it was, in fact, not Rachel, but David and he quickly opened it, dying to see what he said.

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 3:57am

_ I know it’s late and I’m sorry, but I couldn’t sleep because I felt the need to apologize to you. I don’t know why I always tell you the worst parts of me, but you don’t deserve to have that put on you especially because you’re such a nice person. I’m not nice, Patrick. There’s a lot of not niceness about me. I understand if you don’t want to keep talking to me and please, don’t feel bad about what you said to me. I know you meant well. Like I said before, I just have a hard time with feelings and such. Anyway, I hope you sleep well. _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 4:00am

**I like talking to you too and thank you for sending me this text. I couldn’t sleep either, well I dozed off for a bit, but I was having a very unsettling dream.  I just want you to know that you can tell me about whatever parts of your life you want to and I promise I will listen and not judge.**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 4:02am

_ What was your dream about? _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 4:05am

**I was walking down a long hallway and at the end of the hallway was a door. I opened the door and stepped into the room and it was dark. I searched and searched for a light switch or some other source of light, but there was nothing around me. The door slammed shut behind me and I was stuck in this extremely dark room with no way out and not being able to see, but then I heard a noise and a bird landed on my shoulder. It freaked me out so much. That’s all I remember from it, but I’m sure that was more to it than that.**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014  4:07am

_ Are you scared of the dark? Because if you are, maybe that’s why the dream was so bothersome to you. _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 4:09am

**I never used to be, but I don’t know. I guess I haven’t thought about it that much. Are you?**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 4:11am

_ No, not really. Night time is when I feel the most content. It’s like the world is mine for the taking because significantly fewer people are awake if that makes sense. If I’m keeping you awake, we can stop texting. I wouldn’t want you to miss out on your sleep because of me. _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 4:13am 

**I’m a grown up, David. You’re not keeping me from anything. Could I choose to go to bed and get some sleep? Yes, yes I could, but I’m not going to and do you wanna know why?**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 4:14am

_ Why? _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 4:14am

**I’m enjoying talking to you.**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 4:15am

_ I’m enjoying talking to you too. _

 

The two of them stayed up for a couple more hours until David finally insisted Patrick go to bed and Patrick decided to actually listen. After all, he did have work in a few hours. He knew he would probably be extremely tired and maybe even a little grumpy at work later that day, but he felt it was worth it. He knew things between him and his new friend were okay again.

 

***

 

Patrick was startled by the sound of his alarm going off. That couldn’t be right, it couldn’t possibly be time for him to go to work already, it felt like he had just laid down to go to sleep five minutes ago.

 

His eyes were burning and his head ached. David had been right, he should have tried to get to sleep earlier. Usually, he abided by that, but last night he had been so worried when he thought he’d offended David and then he had been so relieved when David had texted him that he just wanted to revel in that for a while and he was sorely paying for that right now.

 

The thought crossed his mind to call in sick, but then he remembered he had a meeting he had to attend today and so as soon as it had come, the thought was shaken from his head. He needed caffeine and lots of it. He started to look around the kitchen for tea bags when his mother walked in the room.

 

“Patrick, dear, what you are doing? Are you feeling okay? You look a little ill.”

 

Great, so it was confirmed that he looked as bad as he felt.

 

“I’m fine, Mom. I just had trouble sleeping last night and now I’m trying to find the tea. I’m afraid I’m gonna be late.”

 

“You sit!” said his Mom while she took over. “Now, tell me about last night. Why couldn’t you sleep, were you thinking about Rachel? Because if you miss her, you can just go talk to her, you know.”

 

Patrick wasn’t sure he wanted to get into the real reason he had been unable to sleep. He just felt it would be kind of hard to explain to his mother why he had chosen to text someone’s random number he saw on a bathroom stall. Instead, he decided to play along.

 

“Uh yeah, I was thinking about Rachel.”

 

“You know, Patrick, I know it’s probably not my place to say anything, but I worry about you two. I mean, you both are constantly fighting and breaking up and getting back together again and that can’t be good for you.”

 

Just then, the words played in his head again “Have you ever considered maybe not doing that?”

 

His mother looked at him, her concern evident, and said,

 

“You know what? Forget I said anything. I’m sure you know what’s best for you. Here’s your tea, dear, and try to have a good day at work!”

 

“Thanks, Mom,” he said, dazed and distracted as he took his tea and left the house. His brain was a mess.

 

***

 

Patrick had come close to falling asleep for the third time when he decided to step outside and get some fresh air. It was getting close to time for the meeting and he couldn’t be almost falling asleep during it, it would look wildly unprofessional.

 

While he was outside, his phone buzzed in his pocket. His first thought was that it was David, but a quick peek at the time proved without a doubt in his mind that it was not him, especially considering David had chastised him for texting him before ten. HIs phone buzzed again and Patrick sighed, giving in and looking at what he had no doubt would be texts from Rachel.

 

[From Rachel] Mon. May 26, 2014 9:27am

Patrick, I want to talk to you.

 

[From Rachel] Mon. May 26, 2014 9:28am

Patrick, seriously, stop ignoring me and talk to me. I miss you.

 

[To Rachel] Mon. May 26, 2014 9:30am

**Rachel, I can’t talk right now. I have a very important meeting at 10:00 that I need to prepare for.**

 

[From Rachel] Mon. May 26, 2014 9:32am

Can’t or won’t? There you go again, putting work before our relationship.

 

[To Rachel] Mon. May 26, 2014 9:35am

**Relationship? What relationship? As I recall, you broke up with me and threw me out of our apartment. Seriously, Rachel?! We are not getting into this again. Not right now. I need some more time. I’ll let you know when that is.**

 

[From Rachel] Mon. May 26, 2014 9:37am

Yeah, whatever, Patrick.

 

Patrick wanted to roll his eyes. He did not need this situation this morning. He headed back inside to his desk and took a few minutes to try to compose himself for this meeting and then headed off to it.

 

***

 

The meeting had gone okay. Luckily, it wasn’t one of those times he had to give a presentation or anything like that so all he had to do was listen and occasionally give his opinion. After the meeting, his boss pulled him aside and he was a bit worried.

 

“Patrick, are you okay? You seem a little off today,” she had stated.

 

“I’m doing okay, I just didn’t sleep very well last night,” he admitted. He always felt like he could be honest with his boss. She was a very nice woman and the two of them got along pretty well.

 

“If you want, you could head home for the day,” she stated. “We don’t have a whole lot going on today and I know how hard it is to focus when tired. You look like you could use the rest.”

 

“Thank you so much,” said Patrick. “You have no idea how relieved I am about this.”

 

“Eh, stuff happens sometimes and we are all only human. Go home, Patrick, and have a nice nap!”

 

“Thank you! I’ll see you tomorrow more wide awake.”

 

She laughed and then Patrick quickly grabbed his things and headed back home.

 

As soon as he walked in the door, he walked straight towards his room, not even thinking twice about it. He set his things down, took off his tie so he didn’t choke himself in his sleep, and then fell asleep almost immediately.

 

He woke up with his stomach rumbling loudly and he stumbled into the kitchen to get himself something to eat. He glanced at the clock, it was 1:30 pm.

 

He was just sitting down to eat his grilled cheese he prepared for himself when his phone buzzed. He swore if it was Rachel, he was going to throw his phone against the wall. It was not Rachel, it was David and Patrick was exceedingly happy to see that it was.

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 1:47pm

_ Are you surviving your day? I know you only got like less than two hours of sleep because of me and I’m sorry. _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 1:48pm

**David, I already told you, it’s not your fault. I am the one who did this to himself, but anyway, I’m feeling much better. I went to work today, sat through a meeting, and then my boss basically told me I looked terrible and sent me home.**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 1:50pm

_ Your boss told you-you looked terrible?! _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 1:52pm

**Well, not exactly, but it’s okay. It was the truth. And my boss is a super cool person. I really like her.**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 1:54pm

_ You really like her, huh? _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 1:56pm

**Not in like a weird way. We just get along well, that’s all.**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 1:58pm

_ Mhm, that’s what they all say. Is she hot? _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:00pm

**David, I’m not starting this with you.**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:03pm

_ Starting what? It’s just an honest question. _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:05pm

**An honest question that makes me super uncomfortable so please just drop it. She’s my boss, nothing more, okay?**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:07pm

_ Okay, okay, fine. I’ll drop it. So getting to leave work early to take a nap, that seems like a pretty fun day. _

 

Patrick debated with himself whether he wanted to tell David about the other part of his day, the part with Rachel texting him and just being generally infuriating. He decided not to bring it up considering the last thing David had to say on the topic still swirled around in his mind constantly.

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:10pm

**Yeah, it’s been a pretty good day. How about you? What has your day looked like?**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:15pm

_ I’m planning an art show currently so I’ve been going, going, going. _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:18pm

**I have to admit, I know next to nothing about art shows. What does that entail?**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:22pm

_ Well since I own the gallery, I have to coordinate with all the artists that want their art displayed and I have to figure out what gets displayed where, and what refreshments to serve, and the guest list. Stuff like that. _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:24pm

**Wow, that sounds like a lot of work.**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:27pm

_ It is, but they really are a lot of fun once the bulk of the details are figured out. _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:29pm

**I’m sure they are!**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:31pm

_ So I know last time this subject came up, it was kind of a touchy one, but I’m super nosy and need to know. Have you spoken to Rachel since you two broke up? _

 

Damn, David was good. It was like he knew there was information out there that Patrick wasn’t giving to him. Sighing, Patrick texted him back.

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:40pm

**I just can’t hide anything from you, can I? We actually texted this morning.**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:41pm

_ And??? _

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:41pm

_ You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want, you can just tell me to fuck off. _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:45pm

**I’m not going to tell you to fuck off. I just...I don’t know. I’m just still mad at her. I mean, she yelled at me and said I was selfish and then broke up with me and kicked me out of our apartment so I have to stay at my parents’ and then she has the audacity to text me a few days later saying she misses me?! Like she’s the one who ended things! What’s up with that?! And then when I told her I couldn’t talk today because I had a meeting, she just started in on it again saying I was putting work above our “relationship”.**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:48pm

_ What relationship? She broke up with you! _

 

[To David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:51pm

**That’s exactly what I said! I just told her I needed more time before we could talk.**

 

[From David] Mon. May 26, 2014 2:53pm

_ Good for you! _

 

It felt good to have someone that Patrick could talk to about things like this. It’s not like he didn’t have friends, but he knew they all got sick of his near-constant drama with Rachel and things felt different with David. It’s like he felt safe talking to him which sounded strange and Patrick couldn’t really wrap his head around why he felt that way, but it was the truth. 


	3. David's POV

It had been a week since Patrick had texted him and the two of them had been texting back and forth every day whenever they could. David liked talking to Patrick. He felt comfortable telling him things that he really had told no one else-like things about failed relationships-and it seemed that Patrick felt the same way about him.

 

***

 

It was the night of the art show and he was freaking out a bit. He went over and over every last detail, multiple times making sure everything was set. He needed everything to go smoothly.

 

[From Patrick] Sat. May 31, 2014 5:35pm

**Hey, I’m sure you’re super busy so I don’t expect you to respond to this, but I just wanted to wish you the best of luck for the art show tonight!**

 

Seeing that text made David smile. Patrick had remembered when the art show was and had sent him a text to wish him luck! If David didn’t think he would be looked at like a crazy person, he would’ve smiled constantly. In fact, he was having a hard time not smiling when he thought about how sweet of Patrick that was.

 

Up until guests started arriving, David was putting finishing touches on things. He took a look around and admired his work. In his opinion, things were looking marvelous and he just hoped everything went well.

 

Once guests actually did start arriving, David felt like he could breathe a little. He was still on edge because there would be photographers and critics all around and he actually had a couple of his pieces in this show as well, but he decided to let whatever happened happen since he no longer had control over everything and he grabbed a champagne flute and took a sip.

 

He walked around, greeting people and mingling. He thanked everyone for coming and smiled widely whenever people told him what a wonderful job he had done. He really did enjoy his job. He loved art, design, and fashion and he really felt he had an eye for it. His guests seemed to agree with that sentiment and David loved receiving confirmation of that.

 

David could not believe how fast the night flew by. Before he knew it, it was time to start packing everything up and putting stuff away.

 

Once everything was cleaned up, David headed back home. He laid down on his bed and unlocked his phone and saw Patrick’s message from earlier. The message he had yet to reply to.

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 12:37am

_ Hey, I’m sorry I just now got around to responding to this. Thank you so much for your sweet message! It sure made me feel better about things and the show was a huge success! _

 

It was only after David sent the message that it occurred to him that Patrick was most likely already asleep.

 

***

 

The next day, as soon as he woke up, David checked his email and saw something that made him feel paralyzed with fear. It was a link to an article written about his show.

 

He knew that he had texted Patrick with confidence that the show was a huge success, but something about seeing a link to an article he had not yet read made him somehow worry he had gotten everything wrong and that it hadn’t actually been a success at all.

 

He was about to click the link when his phone buzzed.

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 2:45pm

**I’m glad to hear that the show was a success! My success for the day was catching up on some work. Everybody gave me crap all week about how I looked half-dead Monday morning.**

 

David laughed upon seeing that message. Patrick always had this knack for texting him at the exact right moment and he said as much in a text to him.

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 2:47pm

_ You know, I was just about to open an article talking about my show and it was making me nervous and then I read your text. Thanks for always knowing what to say to make me less nervous about things. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 2:51pm

**Let me know what they say! I’m sure they had only great things to say, I mean, how could they not?**

 

Whenever Patrick said things like this, David had to try to not freak out. The man was just mysteriously nice all the time and David still wasn’t quite used to it.

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 2:54pm

_ Someday you are going to say something so nice to me that it will kill me so if I ever just stop answering for a long period of time, assume I’m dead. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 2:57pm

**Well?! Did you read the article?**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:01pm

_ Yes, I did. Luckily, the critic had all nice things to say about my show and they even said something really nice about one of my pieces. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:06pm

**Oh, you had art featured in the show? I didn’t know you were a participant, I just thought you ran it.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:10pm

_ This was my third show and I’ve never put my stuff in before until this one so needless to say, I was terrified about how it would be received. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:12pm

**That’s great, David! I’m so happy everything went so well for you!**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:14pm

_ Thank you. It’s such a relief to not have to worry about having another one of those for a while. Like I said before, they’re fun, but they’re a lot of work. I’m exhausted, even though I got plenty of sleep. I think it’s just my body needing to play catch up. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:17pm

**Yeah, that makes sense. I feel that way sometimes too.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:20pm

_ There were so many cute people at my show last night too. It was hard for me to not be distracted since I was supposed to be running the thing. This one girl, woah, she was so gorgeous. She looked like a model. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:24pm

**Sorry, she? I thought you were gay.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:26pm

_ Wow, that’s usually one I get when people have actually seen me, but I’ve never heard that from someone who hasn’t even met me before. That’s new. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:30pm

**Sorry to assume, it’s just you mentioned having a date with a guy before so…**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:33pm

_ I’m pansexual so I’m attracted to who someone is, not what they identify as. And people can be interested in more than one gender, Patrick. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:37pm

**Oh my god, David, I’m so sorry. I really didn’t mean to be presumptuous.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:39pm

_ Hahaha, Patrick, I’m not mad! It’s okay, seriously, I just thought you should know. Tonight, I think I’m gonna go clubbing with some friends! _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:55pm

**Have a good time! Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 3:58pm

_ That could be any number of things so I’m not gonna take that advice. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 4:00pm

**Hey! That’s mean! I do plenty of things!**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 4:03pm

_ Aww, I’m sorry, did I hurt your feelings? Poor baby… _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 4:05pm

**And now you’re calling me a baby? That’s it, you’ve taken things too far!**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 4:07pm

_ Wait, for real, are you a baby? Because it just occurs to me that I don’t know how old you are. You could be some teenager or maybe an old man. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 4:10pm

**I’m not sure if I should be more offended that you started by thinking I’m “some teenager” or you ended up thinking I’m an old man…**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 4:12pm

_ You evaded the question! What are you hiding, old man? _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 4:15pm

**I’ll have you know I’m 26 years old, thank you. Well past teenager and ways away from an old man.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 4:18pm

_ Well, you’re still making me feel old because I’m 30. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 4:22pm

**Well, well, well. Who’s the old man now?**

 

[To David] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 4:24pm

_ Oh wow, look at the time! I need to go start getting ready to go! _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 4:26pm

**Mhm. Wow. Your timing is impeccable. Just admit you can dish it but can’t take it.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 4:30pm

_ Sorry, wrong number! Gotta go! _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 4:31pm

**Haha, you astound me.**

 

***

 

David was wondering how he allowed his friends to persuade him to play the whisper game again, but it had been a mistake. Ever since his friend Mickey had learned about it, he had insisted they play it whenever they could. They all gathered into their own little private corner in the club and sat around in a circle. The way the game worked, the group came up with a question and only one person got to answer it, but only to those who decided to drink. Needless to say, his friend group always came up with interesting or intriguing questions and since David was naturally a nosy person, he had to drink to find out the answers. By the end of the night, he was very very drunk.

 

Knowing he was in no state to drive, he called an Uber. He would have to figure out how to get his car later, but that was a problem a future, more sober David would have to solve.

 

As soon as he stumbled through the door of his apartment, he knew he should be heading to sleep, but he was too awake and too tipsy to sleep. He decided to text Patrick to see if he was still awake.

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 11:37pm

_ uup? _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 11:38pm

**Uup? Is that supposed to mean something? Like is that a new phrase the kids are saying now?**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 11:41pm

_ Sorry there was spposed to b a space ther bt my stupid ducking fingers arent working riht _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 11:43pm

**Are you drunk?**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 11:45pm

_ Yep yep I am _

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 11:48pm

**Oh this ought to be good…**

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Jun 1, 2014 11:53pm

_ What oughta be good? _

 

[From Patrick] Sun, Jun 1, 2014 11:55pm

**I just have never witnessed you drunk before so I’m kind of excited to see if you’ll say anything crazy.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun, Jun 1, 2014 11:57pm

_ U mite as well get used 2 it i get drunk a lot _

 

[From Patrick] Sun, Jun 1, 2014 11:59pm

**Well, as long as you’re careful.**

 

[To Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:02am

_ Dont worry i got an uber _

 

[From Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:03am

**Good. Did you at least have a good time with your friends?**

 

[To Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:05am

_ Yeah twas fun _

 

[From Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:08am

**...twas? Okay, Shakespeare.**

 

[To Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:10am

_ Okay jerk u litrally know im drunk and am havin trouble textin _

 

[To Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:10am

_ O my gud that little bich im gunna kill her _

 

[From Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:11am

**????**

 

[To Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:13am

_ My sistr...she just postd a pic w some new bf. I wonder hw long that will last befoe she needs me to coje to her resfue again _

 

[From Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:15am

**Oh, you have a sister? I didn’t know that. You’ve never mentioned her before.**

 

[To Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:17am

_ We barly talk she ony reaches outto me when she needs a wire transfer or some human teeth _

 

[From Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:19am

**...I’m not even gonna address the human teeth part, but someday when you are sober, we will be discussing that. I’m sorry about your sister, David.**

 

[To Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:21am

_ Its probably bettr fr u to be left in the dark on that one tbh. She can just be really shallow sometimes like shes always with some sleazy guy or another and she knows that she can always count on me, i just wish i could count on her sometimes, ya’know. Like family isnt suuposed to screw u the way others do, not literally i mean but still. _

 

[To Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:23am

_ U prpbly dont wana talk about my sister sorry _

 

[From Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:24am

**You’re allowed to talk about whatever’s bothering you, David. I’m sorry that she’s like that.**

 

[To Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:26am

_ Jst forgt i said anything. I cant keep myees opn so im gonna go _

 

[From Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:27am

**Okay, David. Good night. Take care of yourself.**

 

[To Patrick] Mon, Jun 2, 2014 12:27am

_ Mmk night _

 

***

 

The morning had arrived too quickly. Because of the bright light, David had opened his eyes, but had regretted that decision instantly. His eyes hurt, his mouth felt dry, and his head was pounding. He got up from his bed and headed into his kitchen to get some water and some painkillers. He had a long day of pain ahead of him, but hopefully, he would be able to sleep it off.

 

He also had a feeling he texted Patrick something and so he searched for his phone to look at what he had said.

 

As soon as he read the messages, he felt the urge to be sick. He ran to the bathroom, just barely making it in time for the contents of his stomach to wind up in the toilet. He flushed the toilet, washed his face, and brushed his teeth and then grabbed the water and painkillers.

 

He didn’t like the weird twisty feeling lingering in his stomach even after being sick. He couldn’t exactly explain it, but he felt anxious about what he had said. Or maybe it wasn’t what he said, but rather the fact that he had texted Patrick while he was drunk and vulnerable. Patrick clearly hadn’t been bothered by it and so he shouldn’t be either, right? Right! He’ll just take these painkillers, pass out, and then forget all about this.

 

***

 

He felt a bit better once he woke up. His head still hurt a little, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it had been when he first woke up earlier this morning. He reached for his phone to check Instagram when he remembered the texts he had sent to Patrick and then he quickly pulled up the text conversation with him.

 

[To Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:15pm

_ Okay, so, about last night...I don’t even remember saying any of that and I’m so, so sorry. You must think I’m some kind of lunatic. _

 

[From Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:16pm

**No, I don’t think you’re a lunatic. I just think you were drunk haha. I mean, are you really drunk if you don’t spew random nonsense at your friends?**

 

[To Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:17pm

_ Okay, I’m not loving spew, I’ll be honest. _

 

[From Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:19 pm

**Okay, your Highness. Please bequeath me with the list of words I’m allowed to use this week.**

 

[To Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:23pm

_ Can’t use any words if your head is removed. Since I’m royalty, I can just scream “off with your head!” and they’ll do it! _

 

[From Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:25pm

**You would have my head removed just because I like to mock you? Nah, I don’t buy it. I think you secretly love it when I mock you.**

 

[To Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:30pm

_ Hmm, that is very presumptuous of you. _

 

[From Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:32pm

**So, David, if I’m even allowed to talk to you, how was your day?**

 

[To Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:34pm

_ Oh, my day was great, just great. I spent half of it bent over the toilet and the other half sleeping so lots of fun. _

 

[From Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:37pm

**That bad, huh?**

 

[To Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:40pm

_ We don’t have to talk about this anymore. You already saw enough of how I was last night. How was your day? I’m assuming better than mine? _

 

[From Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:43pm

**Well, I went to work and I did my job and now I’m just at home, watching TV.**

 

[To Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:47pm

_ Oh right, you have like normal person hours. _

 

[From Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:49pm

**Excuse me, normal person hours? What exactly what does that mean?**

 

[To Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:52pm

_ I just meant you probably work a 9-5 job so you have to wake up early which is, frankly, disgusting. _

 

[From Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 8:55pm

**Well, not all of us have the luxury of being our own boss and therefore getting to set our own hours, David.**

 

[To Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 9:01pm

_ Okay, I realize now how patronizing that sounded, that was not my intention. _

 

[From Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 9:03pm

**Well, I gotta go.**

 

[To Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 9:06pm

_ Oh god, you’re not going because of what I said, are you? _

 

[From Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 9:10pm

**No, David, believe it or not, I have to get to bed because my job requires me to abide by “normal person hours”.**

 

[To Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 9:12pm

_ That doesn’t really make me feel better. _

 

[From Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 9:15pm

**Good night, David.**

 

[To Patrick]  Mon. Jun 2, 2014 9:16pm

_ Night, Patrick.  _


	4. Patrick's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: The line David says about Carly Rae Jepsen (the line about how Carly Rae Jepsen fucking slaps and if you disagree, I’ll go all natural disaster on your ass) is literally something I said to my sister and then I gasped out loud and realized it was such a David thing to say and wrote it down to use in this AU. When life inspires art... Also, I took liberties with Patrick's middle name because we have no idea what it is.

Texting David became a regular part of his daily routine, coming just as naturally to him as brushing his teeth. He looked forward to their strange conversations, knowing that he could never predict in which direction they would go, but that, no matter what, they were always enjoyable.

 

[From David] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 5:23 pm

_ Oh my god, ew, this guy just proposed to this girl in front of everyone and it was so embarrassing. _

 

[To David] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 5:24 pm

**Why is that gross? Was she upset about it? Did she say no?**

 

[From David] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 5:26 pm

_ Wow, so many questions. Umm, no she seemed overjoyed, but like public proposals? Incorrect! _

 

[To David] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 5:29 pm

**...wow, someone really hates love.**

 

[To Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 5:34 pm

_ I do not hate love. I’d love to be a part of it someday, it was just so cringy. And like, on a Thursday night? It just seems really random. _

 

[From Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 5:37 pm

**Well, David, maybe it’s their anniversary or something. But now that I know where you stand on public proposals, I’ll make sure to tell your future spouse that you want a huge deal made out of it with a singing quartet and everything.**

 

[To Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 5:45 pm

_ Do that and I’ll fucking fly to Ontario and fight you. I’ll have you know you would not want to fight me. I took Tae kwon do granted, I did only take that class because the instructor was hot, but still. I know some things! Also, future spouse? You have so much faith in me to be able to keep someone interested long enough to propose to me. _

 

[From Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 5:50 pm

**Okay, first off, how do you know where I am? Should I be concerned? Secondly, wow, tae kwon do taken from a hot instructor? Color me concerned! And finally, why are you so mean to yourself all the time?**

 

[To Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 5:59 pm

_ Umm, in case you don’t remember, when you first texted me, it showed up as an unknown number. I recognized the area code. I travel a lot. And you should be concerned! Very, very concerned! Anyway...I’m not being mean to myself, it’s just every failed romance attempt or sexual encounter I’ve had point to the fact I must be the problem. I’m just the guy people use and then dump when they’ve had their fill. _

 

Patrick had to admit he was a little surprised that such serious topics were coming out this early in the night. Usually, David only said these types of things late at night or when he was drunk and he definitely seemed to have full cognitive function based on how many words he was typing correctly and how fast the texts were coming in.

 

He was getting more used to statements like this from David, but they didn’t make him any less sad. What David needed was to find someone to show him that things didn’t always have to be like that.

 

[From Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 6:05 pm

**Oh, right, duh. I don’t know why that didn’t occur to me. So, then where are you from? It’s only fair for me to know since you know where I live. I guess the only way to prove you’re serious is for you to show up here and fight me. I’ll be waiting. It’s not you, David.**

 

[To Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 6:13 pm

_ I mean, I only know where you live because of the area code, it’s not my fault you didn’t pay attention to mine when it was an unknown number. Oh, you’re in for it. Trust me, you don’t want me going there to fight you. You’re gonna need a doctor when I’m done with you. You’re just saying that to be nice, Patrick. You know very well it’s me. _

 

[From Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 6:17 pm

**David, please tell me? It didn’t occur to me to look! I’m so scared, David. I’m weak in the knees. Please, stop saying that, okay? You’re my friend and I don’t like it when people talk badly about my friends like that!**

 

[To Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 6:22 pm

_ Ugh, fine, if you must know, I live in New York. Yeah, I have that effect on people. You’re my friend too, Patrick. _

 

Patrick’s face was bright red and he had no idea why. The room had gotten rather warm and his stomach was feeling really weird. Had he eaten something bad? Was he coming down with something?

 

[From Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 6:26 pm

**So, New York, huh? What’s that like?**

 

[To Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 6:29 pm

_ Oh, it’s every bit as glamorous as they say, if you consider people openly whipping their dick out to pee on the streets or people yelling at you because you aren’t moving quick enough glamorous. _

 

[From Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 2014, 6:32 pm

**You live close enough to see Broadway shows all the time. That’s pretty glamorous!**

 

[To Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 6:35 pm

_ I didn’t know you were into theatre. _

 

[From Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 6:42 pm

**Oh yes, I really enjoy theatre. I did it in high school and college. Some of the most fun parts of my life. I’ve never been able to see a show on Broadway though, but I’d really like to. That’s what they say is one of the highlights of New York. I’ve only been there a couple of times, but it’s always been for business and I’m never there long enough to get to see a show.**

 

[To Patrick] Thu, Jun 5, 6:45 pm

_ Well, I hope someday you get to. _

 

_ *** _

 

Rachel had texted him again this afternoon, but he had just deleted it, not even bothering to read it. He didn’t have anything to say to her. He was still upset about how things had panned out with this last break-up.

 

***

 

He had been having a particularly rough day at work so far. He had spilled his tea all over himself this morning, forcing him to have to change and therefore making him late for work. Then, he had completely lost his train of thought during his presentation today which was super embarrassing. He was so ready for the end of the day.

 

He was sitting at his desk, “reading” his emails, but really just begging and pleading with the universe for it to be 5:00 already so he could head home when his phone buzzed. As soon as he looked at it, he had to try really hard not to laugh out loud.

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 4:46 pm

_ Have you ever thought about what it would be like to be a butterfly? _

 

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 4:47 pm

**Well, you seem like you’re already one step closer to that.**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 4:49 pm

_ Huh? What are you talking about? _

 

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 4:51 pm

**Wait, you’re not high?**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 4:54 pm

_ No, I’m not...why? Did you think I was? _

 

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 4:57 pm

**Yeah, that definitely seemed like something someone who was high off his ass would send.**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 4:59 pm

_ Okay, first of all, you would know if I was high because I’d just be going on and on about Carly Rae Jepsen and how she’s an icon. Secondly, I had meetings with artists today, that would be terribly unprofessional. _

 

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:03 pm

**Who’s Carly Rae Jepsen? Also, I’m willing to bet that half if not most of those artists were also high when you met with them so it’d be kind of fitting.**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:08 pm

_...okay I’m not sure which wrong thing you just said to address first. _

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:11 pm

_ Actually, I do, WHO’S CARLY RAE JEPSEN?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME? And as for the other thing you said, even if that was true, which is very stereotypical and presumptuous, by the way, I’m still the gallery owner who wants these artists to display their art in said gallery and so I want to appear professional and therefore not use drugs, legal or not, in their presence. _

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:14 pm

_ And another thing! How would you know what being high looks like? I bet you’ve never even smoked a cigarette, let alone pot. _

__

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:31 pm

**Sorry, I was driving so I couldn’t answer right away. Wow, okay, I’m sorry, I didn’t realize she was such a big deal to you. I googled her and she just seems like another one of those pop singers I probably wouldn’t enjoy tbh. Okay, now who’s being presumptuous? I’ve smoked cigarettes and been high before and so it’s because of those experiences and being around people who have been high that made me think you were.**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:37 pm

_ Ummm, excuse me?! Carly Rae Jepsen fucking slaps and if you disagree with me, you need to evacuate immediately because I’ll go all natural disaster on your ass. Oh wow, next you’re gonna tell me you crossed the street without holding mommy’s hand! _

 

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:39 pm

**Wow, what crawled up your ass and died?**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:42 pm

_ My last ex _

 

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:45 pm

**That’s dark.**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:47 pm

_ That’s what my ex says while they’re stuck up there. _

 

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:50 pm

**I thought they were dead?!**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:53 pm

_ Wow, okay, so we're still going with this gross dumb joke I made, cool. Usually, people would be calling the psych ward by now. _

 

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:55 pm

**Oh no, I am, I just needed to distract you so they could track your location.**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:57 pm

_ Well, I gotta go then. Can’t have them hauling me off again! _

 

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 5:59 pm

**Wait...again? This has happened to you before?**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 6:01 pm

_ Wow, you are really bad at roleplay. Never be an actor or participate in improv, although, really, no one should ever do that last part. _

 

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 6:04 pm

**I have a confession to make...please don’t hate me.**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 6:06 pm

_ Oh god, what is it? _

 

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014 6:08pm

**I have done improv before. In high school. Some friends and I would host open mic nights that involved singing, little skits, and improv.**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 6:11 pm

_ Why...why did you do that? _

 

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 6:13 pm

**We were having fun and goofing around. Why do you hate improv so much?**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 6:16 pm

_ It’s just the thought of people getting up in front of a crowd, thinking they’re funny, that makes me cringe. _

 

[To David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 6:20 pm

**Hey, I thought we were pretty funny. You would have liked us.**

 

[From David] Mon, Jun 9, 2014, 6:23 pm

_ Whatever helps you sleep at night. _

 

***

 

The week passed by pretty quickly, which was a relief to Patrick, and it was finally Saturday. He was excited about the weekend always, obviously, but he was particularly excited for this one because several of his old high school friends were getting together to hang out and they had invited him to tag along to which he accepted. He hadn’t been able to really hang out with these guys in months because they all were so busy with work and so a little reunion would be lots of fun.

 

The night consisted of a lot of drinking and before he knew it, Patrick was feeling pretty drunk. Most of his friends had cleared out at this point and he was feeling very sad. He decided to text David and see if he was still awake.

 

[To David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014, 1:17 am

**hey david. are you awake**

 

[From David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014, 1:18 am

_ Umm, of course, I’m surprised you are though. _

 

[To David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014, 1:21 am

**oh umm im just feeling very sad tonight**

 

[From David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014, 1:23 am

_ I’m sorry to hear that. What’s wrong? _

 

[To David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014, 1:26 am

**people get into relationships and theyre supposed to stay that way david so whats wrong with me that i cant even keep the one girl whos ever loved me**

 

[To David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:26am

**what does that say about me? i mean it has to be something im doing**

 

[To David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:27am

**sometimes i wonder if im just meant to be alone**

 

[To David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:27am

**and it bothers me so so much**

 

[To David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:28am

**everyone around me is getting married or having kids and ive been in an on again off again relationship since i was in high school**

 

[From David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:30am

_ Patrick? Are you okay? _

 

[To David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:33am

**yeah i just had one drink too many i guess**

 

[From David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:35am

_ Wait...you’re drunk? _

 

[From David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:35am

_ Looking back, I definitely should have picked up on that considering the fact that you’re not typing the way you usually do. _

 

[From David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:37am

_ But anyway, I’m sorry you’re sad, Patrick. You don’t deserve to feel sadness. You’re too good for that. _

 

[To David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:39am

**thank you david thats sweet**

 

[From David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:41am

_ Are you at home? _

 

[To David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:42am

**no im in the bar still**

 

[From David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:43am

_ Patrick, you need to call a cab or something. The bar’s probably gonna close soon and I don’t want you to get stranded. _

 

[To David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:45am

**im gonna call my mom**

 

[From David] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 1:47am

_ Okay, good idea. _

 

Patrick called his mom to come get him and he felt like an embarrassed teenager all over again. Luckily, they didn’t live too far from the bar and she arrived within minutes to pick him up. As soon as he saw her, he felt the overwhelming urge to cry and the whole ride home, he cried and cried. His mom held onto him as he stumbled inside and she helped him get into his bed where he quickly passed out.

 

***

 

Patrick woke up with one thought and one thought only: what the hell had happened last night? His face was puffy and red, his eyes bloodshot and feeling very strained. He had a killer headache and was about to roll over and go back to sleep so that he could go back to not feeling anything when he noticed his mom approaching his door.

 

HIs mom tiptoed into his room carrying a glass of water and a couple of pain pills and then looked at him in surprise.

 

“Oh, honey, you’re awake. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

 

Patrick just stared at her, flashes of the night before coming back to him. He felt so embarrassed.

 

“I’m so sorry about last night, Mom. I-,”

 

“Oh, honey, you don’t have to apologize. You just got a little carried away, it happens. I mean, it hasn’t happened with you in quite a few years, but I kinda liked it, you needing me again.”

 

“Mom, I will always need you, don’t say that.”

 

She smiled at him and sat down beside him.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

 

His mother gave him a concerned look and said, “Patrick, you were really really drunk to the point where you were sobbing hysterically and couldn’t even get words out. Don’t act like I’m a fool, clearly, something is going on.”

 

Patrick sighed. “I was upset about Rachel at first and then it just sort of turned into being upset about everything, but-,”

 

Patrick realized he had just been about to tell his mother about David and he wasn’t sure how she would react to him having a friend that he had never even officially met and whom he had just randomly texted. He quickly shut his mouth and looked away from her.

 

“But what?”

 

“What? I didn’t say but. I just said that my being upset about Rachel just turned into me being upset about everything.”

 

“Yeah, you said all that and also you tacked a ‘but’ onto the end. What were you going to say?”

 

“I wasn’t going to say anything else.”

 

“Patrick Steven Brewer, I know you are hiding something from me and I am not going to leave this room and let you take your pain meds for that headache I’m sure you have until you tell me what you’re not telling me.”

 

Patrick winced at the louder volume his mother’s voice had taken and said, “Okay, okay, so remember when I was in New York for that business conference for work about a month ago?”

 

His mom looked at him and replied, “Yes, I think I remember you mentioning it.”

 

“Well, Rachel had just broken up with me and I was upset and I was using the bathroom at Per Se because that’s where we went to dinner and I spotted this phone number scrawled across the bathroom wall and I decided to text it.”

 

“You did what? Why?”

 

“Let me continue, please. So I texted the number, kind of teasing them for leaving their phone number on a random bathroom wall, and then they replied and it was so funny that we just kept texting back and forth and we have been ever since. We’re kind of friends now.”

 

“And do you even know who you are talking to? I mean no offense and I’m not judging, I just want to make sure you’re safe.”

 

“Mom!” Patrick protested.

 

“Well, can you blame me? This whole being friends with someone you’ve never actually met thing is still a fairly new concept to me.”

 

“I know his name is David and he lives in New York and that he’s really, really funny and I enjoy talking to him more than anyone lately, well, besides you and Dad, of course.”

 

Patrick couldn’t quite place the look on his mother’s face, but he hoped it was just confusion and not anger. He couldn’t take his mother being angry at him.

 

“Well, I’m glad you found someone to talk to, Patrick. And thank you for telling me about this. It’s clearly a very important aspect in your life right now and a mother likes to be in the know about these things.”

 

“Thank you for taking care of me, Mom. I really appreciate it.”

 

His mother handed him the pain medication and water, which she had set down on his bedside table while they were talking, and said,

 

“Here, take this and go back to sleep, dear.”

 

“I love you, Mom.”

 

“I love you, too.”


	5. David's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has another line taken from my real life (I'm literally David IRL) but basically, I have this face mask that looks and smells like birthday cake and my sister was like "mmm I wanna eat this" and I said the line David says about calling poison control and then again realized it's a perfect David line and used it hahaha. Also, this chapter starts a long journey of angst. You have been warned.

David wanted to check in on Patrick, to make sure he was okay. He hadn’t heard from him since he had mentioned he was going to call his mom and so he didn’t know if he had gotten home okay.

 

That was the tricky part of having a friend who lived far away, there wasn’t a whole lot David could do to ensure his safety besides texting him and waiting for him to reply. He didn’t want to text too early in the day, however, because he knew when he was hungover, he slept throughout most of the day and he didn’t want there to be even the slightest chance of his text waking Patrick up.

 

He spent his day watching movies, but he was having a hard time focusing on them, his mind going through every last possible bad scenario that could have happened to Patrick last night. Finally, he gave in and just texted him, hoping to hear back from him.

 

[To Patrick] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 3:37pm

_ Hey, did you get home okay last night? I never heard from you after and so I wanted to make sure. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 3:39pm

**Yes, I did, don’t worry.**

 

[To Patrick] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 3:41pm

_ How are you feeling? _

 

[From Patrick] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 3:43pm

**Well, I’ve been better, but I’ve also certainly been worse, so I’d say fairly okay.**

 

David wanted to ask Patrick about everything he had said yesterday. Some of those things he had mentioned had left David feeling a little uneasy. Mostly because, well, it was weird, but Patrick seemed so put together, so confident, so sure of himself through his texts that seeing him get to a point where he’s saying things that sober David often said? Well, that was worrisome. David wasn’t used to being on the receiving end of such statements.

 

[To Patrick] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 3:46pm

_ Well, that’s good to hear. So, I just wanted to say that if you wanna talk about anything you said from last night, I’m here for you. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 3:48pm

**What would there be to talk about? I’m fine!**

 

[To Patrick] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 3:51pm

_ Well, last night you said some concerning things so I just thought if you wanted to talk, we could. _

 

[From Patrick] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 3:53pm

**That’s rich coming from you, David. You say concerning things all the time and we’re not allowed to talk about those.**

 

Yikes. That hurt. David knew Patrick was probably just grumpy because of his hangover, but still. He had only been trying to help.

 

[To Patrick] Sun, Jun 15, 2014 3:55pm

_ Mmk, well clearly someone hasn’t taken enough Vicodin for that hangover so I’m gonna go, but just know that I’m here, if you should want to talk when you’re in a better mood. _

 

Patrick and he were always teasing each other, it was light-hearted and fun, but as soon as David had received that text, he knew it was not the case with this one. He hoped, selfishly, that Patrick had only said it because he was in pain and not in a good mood, but it still bothered him nevertheless. Patrick had never said anything like that to him before. He was always caring and considerate and fairly nonjudgmental when he didn’t even know the half of what David had been through in his life.

 

It made David wonder. If he and Patrick knew each other in real life, would they even be friends? Or would David’s baggage be too much to send him running?

 

All of these fears started bubbling to the surface. Was Patrick going to realize he couldn’t be friends with him anymore? Was he going to decide that it wasn’t worth it to text such a broken, beat-down shell of a person and move on?

 

David’s phone went off and he dove for it, hoping it was Patrick. Hoping that any and all his fears would be driven away by a text from the man he had quickly come to recognize as a friend and confidant. But sadly, it wasn’t Patrick. It was one of his exes, looking for a booty call. And he was nothing if not accommodating.

 

***

 

Hours later, the deed was done and Shannon, his ex, had left, not wanting to stay, which wasn’t surprising. But again, he found himself alone, trapped in his head with thoughts swirling around.

 

Patrick had once told him not to say that sex is all he’s good for but isn’t what he had just done proof that it was? How quickly he jumped, how eager he was to please? How even when people determined he wasn’t good enough to be with, he still was the one they went to when they needed a quick lay?

 

The thought of Patrick just made everything worse. Patrick, who would drop all contact with him, leaving him like Shannon just had, as everyone else had. He was surprised Patrick hadn’t done so already if he was being honest with himself, which he guessed he was since all these thoughts kept coming and coming and there was no end in sight to them.

 

***

 

It had been a restless night. It was kind of weird, but he hadn’t had many of those since he had started texting Patrick and now Patrick had been the cause of one. Well, maybe that wasn’t completely fair to say he was the cause, but he was definitely at the forefront of the reasons for this particular restless night.

 

David was supposed to be in meetings with artists today, but he just couldn’t bring himself to go so he canceled on them stating that he had something come up and that he would need to reschedule.

 

He had just started to doze off when his phone dinged. Figuring it was just one of the artists replying to him that he could talk to later, he ignored it, but then his phone went off again. Exasperated, he reached over to his phone to shut it off when he saw Patrick’s name and instantly felt simultaneously more awake and anxious.

 

It took him a little bit to compose himself but finally, he chanced a look at his phone and sighed in relief.

 

[From Patrick] Mon. Jun 16, 2014 10:35am

**I’m so sorry for the way I acted yesterday. I was hungover and in pain and taking it out on you. I know that’s no excuse, but I just hope you can forgive me.**

 

[From Patrick] Mon. Jun 16, 2014 10:36am

**I should have just told you I didn’t want to talk about it, but instead I deflected and made a big mess of things. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t tell me things. We’re friends and I want our friendship, our texting, to be kind of a safe space, okay? Again, I’m so sorry, David, and I look forward to hearing from you.**

 

David could not have been happier. He eagerly typed out a reply to Patrick, relieved that Patrick had not left, relieved that he had referred to them as friends, and just overall feeling relieved about the whole situation.

 

[To Patrick] Mon. Jun 16, 2014 10:45am

_ I want you to feel like you can talk to me about stuff and I’ll try to be more open to talking about feelings. You can ask me anything if you want. _

 

[From Patrick] Mon, Jun 16, 2014 10:50am

**Maybe it’s the lack of sleep, but I feel like I’m gonna cry after reading your text. I’m just so relieved you don’t hate me and I’m grateful you said all that, I’m sure it must have been hard for you. But this needs to be a two-way street. If I ever ask you about something you don’t want to talk about, just tell me and I’ll drop it.**

 

[To Patrick] Mon. Jun 16, 2014 10:53am

_ You didn’t sleep either? _

 

[From Patrick] Mon. Jun 16, 2014 10:54am

**Not at all after I got your last text. I called in sick to work today because I was feeling so tense about everything.**

 

[To Patrick] Mon. Jun 16, 2014 10:56am

_ Yeah, I didn’t sleep a wink, but now that we’re okay again, I really, really need to. _

 

[From Patrick] Mon. Jun 16, 2014 10:57am

**Me too. David, can I just say one thing before you go to sleep?**

 

[To Patrick] Mon. Jun 16, 2014 10:58am

_ Of course. _

 

[From Patrick] Mon. Jun 16, 2014 10:59am

**Why did you assume I just had Vicodin on hand?**

 

David had been a little nervous about what Patrick was going to say, but when he read that text, he laughed out loud. Things were definitely back to normal between them.

 

[To Patrick] Mon. Jun 16, 2014 11:01am

_ Well, it’s not like it’s hard to come by. _

 

***

 

[To Patick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 6:37pm

_ I am finally home! It has been a looooong day! I’m gonna set my stuff down and then have a bath with one of these bad boys. _

 

_ *sends an attachment of a bath bomb that looks like a cupcake* _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 6:40pm

**That looks yummy! I kinda want to eat it!**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 6:42pm

_ Okay, well, please don’t eat it because then I would have to call poison control and I really don’t like making phone calls. _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 6:45pm

**Aww, it’s nice to see how much you care, David.**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 6:46pm

_ Okay, well, I’ll brb because I’ve seriously been wanting this all day and I cannot think straight until I get in that bathtub and have a good long soak. _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 6:48pm

**Okay, have fun!**

 

*******

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 7:57pm

_ Hello, I’m back! _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 7:58pm

**I was starting to worry you had drowned or something.**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:00pm

_ Umm well, that’s very rude. I know how to take a bath thank you very much! I actually took so long because I dozed off lol _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:01pm

**David, that’s so dangerous! You know it only takes 1 inch of water to drown a person, right?**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:02pm

_ Okay, Patrick, clearly you have drowning on the brain...why do you think I’m gonna drown? _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:05pm

**I don’t think you’re gonna drown, I just got nervous when I hadn’t heard from you in a while.**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:07pm

_ If you’ve cursed me and my way to go is drowning, I will haunt you. _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:10pm

**You’d get pretty bored haunting me.**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:11pm

_ You think I’d be haunting you because I care about what you do day-to-day? Hell no! Haunting you would be so interesting for me because I’d think of endless ways to torture you. _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:15pm

**Kinky.**

 

David had taken a sip of his drink when he glanced at his phone and saw the latest text from Patrick and he started choking, spitting his drink everywhere, making a mess. He had never expected Patrick to text him something like that, but he was eager to see where this conversation would go.

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:22pm

_ Didn’t think you were into that :P _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:24pm

**Okay, there you go once again assuming I don’t do things.**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:25pm

_ So when I saw that message, I had totally taken a sip of my drink beforehand and now I’m desperately trying to clean up the mess that occurred as a result of me spitting my drink everywhere. _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:27pm

**Oh, hmm, I had you pegged as a swallower tbh.**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:29pm

_ Haha “pegged”. _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:30pm

**What? What’s so funny about that?**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:33pm

_ Wait, seriously? You don’t know what pegging is? _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:34pm

**No, what is it?**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:35pm

_ Anal, but with a strap-on instead of a dick. _

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:36pm

_ And there you were whining that I thought you didn’t do things… _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:40pm

**Oh, I’ve done things! I’m really into spanking and I used a blindfold once.**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:41pm

_ Oh, that’s cute, what are you, 16? _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:43pm

**Okay, that’s it…**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:45pm

_ What are you gonna do, spank me? Ooh, or maybe the blindfold would be more appropriate. I heard you used one once. _

 

It had been ten minutes and Patrick had not responded. Had David gone too far? Had he actually offended Patrick? That had not been his intention. He hoped at this point in their friendship that Patrick knew he was just teasing him and that he meant no harm by it.

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:56pm

**...shut up!**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 8:57pm

_ Oh wow, shut up? Sick burn! _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 9:00pm

**I sat here, trying to think of what to say to you, but my mind went blank.**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 9:01pm

_ Oh good, I thought you were offended by what I said. _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 9:02pm

**No. God, no. We wouldn’t be David and Patrick if we weren’t constantly giving each other a hard time.**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 9:02pm

_ I wouldn’t say constantly...we give each other like a semi-hard time. _

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 9:04pm

... _ I just realized how that sounded so if you’ll excuse me I’m gonna go crawl in a hole and die now. _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Jun 27, 2014 9:05pm

**Hahaha. Well, at least you can’t haunt me now because you won’t be drowning.**

 

***

[To Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 9:36am

_ I feel like I’m actually dying. _

 

[From Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 9:37am

**Hungover?**

 

[To Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 9:38am

_ God, I wish because then I’d be able to breathe. I got one of those awful summer colds. I think it was from when I traveled recently. Someone sneezed and it was all downhill from there. _

 

[From Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 9:41am

**Ah yes, airports. The incubators of disease.**

 

[To Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 9:43am

_ You can’t see me right now (and thank god for that, I’m a mess) but I’m making the most disgusted face at you right now. _

 

[From Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 9:45am

**Will I ever be able to?**

 

[To Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 9:47am

_ Will you ever be able to what, Patrick? Man on his deathbed here! I’m gonna need you to speak clearly and in complete sentences. _

 

[From Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 9:49am

**Oh you mean how you did with “man on his deathbed here”?**

 

[To Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 9:51am

_ Patrick, please, I may only have a few minutes left. My dying wish is to know what you were going to say. _

 

[From Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 9:53am

**I just meant will I ever be able to see you or meet you in real life?**

 

David felt very nervous upon seeing that text message from Patrick. It was like the two of them had gotten into such a routine of talking every day that it had never occurred to him that Patrick might actually want to meet up with him. It wasn’t that David was opposed to it necessarily, it would be nice to meet Patrick, after all, the two of them considered each other friends, the thought just made him very, very nervous.

 

[To Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 9:57am

_ Well...you’re in the GTA obviously because of your area code...I’ll be in the city for TIFF in September. _

 

As soon as David sent that message, he freaked out. What the fuck had he just done? Would Patrick even be up for that or had he just been trying to be nice by saying he wanted to meet him? Would  _ he  _ even be ready to meet Patrick at that point? While it was true that it was still a couple of months away, the time would sneak up on him inevitably and of all the times and topics, why did he chose now to act rashly?

 

[From Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 10:07am

**That sounds great! We’ll work out the details when it gets closer, but I’m very excited to meet you!**

 

[To Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 10:09am

_ Yeah! It’ll be great! _

 

[From Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 10:10am

**Shouldn’t you be resting? I wouldn’t want you to die before I have a chance to meet you.**

 

[To Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 10:11am

_ I actually took some Nyquil so if I stop answering, it probably kicked in. _

 

[To Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 10:11am

_ And before you say anything because I know you will, I realize I took Nyquil during the day, but I need some sleep and I was having a hard time getting to sleep and I didn’t have any Nyquil so I ran out and got some this morning because I am desperate. _

 

[From Patrick] Wed. Jul 9, 2014 10:12am

**Hey, no judgment here. I’m just glad you’re trying to get some rest. I’ve got to get to a meeting here pretty soon so I’ll talk to you later. Have a good nap and I hope you feel better!**

 

*******

 

David was having a moderately okay time at this party he had been invited to. He knew he had most likely been invited only because he was David Rose and he had notoriety and money and usually, he was okay with that, but he was having a harder time ignoring that fact tonight. So as soon as someone had offered him some cocaine, he accepted it without a second thought.

 

Once he was starting to feel the effects from the cocaine, he felt better and he started to dance up on this guy that he had his eye on since he had arrived. The guy leaned in and kissed him and whispered in his ear, “Wanna get out of here?” and David could not have agreed faster.

 

The guy took his hand and led him to his limo...woah, he had a limo? Who even was this guy?  He told his driver where to take them and then he put up the partition. As soon as it was up, he resumed kissing David and it became more heated, more intense, and David was loving every minute of it.

 

They were forced to break apart when the limo stopped and the two of them headed inside the guy’s penthouse apartment. They had barely entered the apartment when the guy, David still didn’t even know his name, was immediately ripping off his clothes. If David had been sober, this would have infuriated him, but right now, his sole focus was kissing this attractive guy and hopefully getting laid.

 

***

 

Having accomplished both of his goals for the evening, David flopped back against the pillow with an exhausted yet satisfied sigh. Right now, he just wanted to sleep, but evidently, the guy had other plans.

 

“So, uh, see you later then, I guess,” he said.

 

It’s not like David had expected anything further from this guy, not a relationship, not even breakfast in bed, but kicking him out just like that? David was very hurt, but he tried not to let it show that it bothered him. He, as quickly as he could, put his clothes back on and tried to figure out how he would get home.

 

He called an Uber and hoped to get home as quickly as he could. His mind was running a mile a minute, most likely from the coke, and he just wanted to be in his own space. He was almost home when his phone started blowing up with twitter notifications. Confused, he opened his phone and as soon as he saw the contents of the notifications, he felt sick to his stomach. He had had a lot of people do shitty things to him in his time, but never anything like this.

 

All the notifications were from people tagging him in a post made about him, presumably from the guy he had just slept with, bragging about how he had just slept with “the David Rose” and David didn’t know what to do. He exited the Uber and went inside his apartment and his phone just kept going off. He tried to turn off the notifications, but he couldn’t because he was shaking so much.

 

He walked into his kitchen and grabbed a bottle of whiskey and poured himself a glass. He downed the entire thing and poured another. He was still shaking and his heart was pounding and he didn’t want to, but he could feel himself start to cry. He felt himself having trouble breathing and he didn’t know what to do. He felt gross, used, and violated. He needed a shower, but it was like he was stuck, he couldn’t move. To make matters worse, he noticed there was a tear in his nice Givenchy sweater. So David did the only thing that made sense to him at this point. He pulled out his phone to text Patrick. He didn’t know what he would say exactly, but he wanted to talk to him. He tried and tried to text something, but he couldn’t get his fingers to work properly and his eyes were blurred from the tears so he just did the next best thing and hit the call button. 


	6. Patrick's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, one night, I was listening to "Hey There, Delilah" and writing this fic and I started singing "hey there, davidlilah" and I made myself laugh for like two minutes and then I sent that message to Julia and she was like "YOU NEED TO HAVE DRUNK PATRICK SEND THAT TO DAVID!" and so that's how that was born. Also, it is around this point in the story (well, last chapter was when it started) that Julia started to threaten my life so that should give you a heads up about the pain you are in for. Don't worry, things will work out okay in the end!

Patrick thought he was seeing things when he went to answer his ringing phone and it said “David”. The two of them had never spoken on the phone before and so he was a little nervous to pick up. Maybe David had just decided since they were going to be meeting up eventually that they should talk on the phone too?

 

He picked up the phone and was about to say hello when he heard what sounded like sobbing on the other end of the phone. The sound was heart-wrenching. What had happened? He didn’t know, but he had to get to the bottom of this.

 

“David?” he asked hesitantly.

 

“P-Patrick,” David slurred and to Patrick it definitely sounded like he was not sober on top of crying.

 

“David, are you drunk?”

 

“Kinda, I took some, some-,” he stopped talking.

 

“Took some what, David? What else did you take?” Patrick asked urgently.

 

“Coke, someone offered it to me and so I took it.”

 

Patrick practically ran over to his computer to google the effects of mixing coke and alcohol. He kept getting pop-ups saying “we can help you conquer your addiction” and he wanted to scream. He didn’t need help, well, he did, but not for himself. He just wanted to make sure David wasn’t going to die.

 

“Okay, David? You still there?”

 

“Y-yes.”

 

“Are you lying down?”

 

“No, ‘m standin.”

 

“Okay, can you lie down for me? This is saying it’s better for you to be lying down.”

 

“Mmk. Patrick, why doesn’t anyone ever want me for me?”

 

Patrick felt his heart physically hurt upon hearing that statement. He wanted to say something, but David continued speaking,

 

“I’m so tired of this happening, Patrick. I give and I give and it only ends up with me in pain. I don’t think love is ever going to happen for me and you know what? At this point, that’s fine because love would probably ruin me anyway. I mean, it basically already has. And I know I deserve it because of just who I am as a person. I mean, I’m surprised you’re still my friend. You wouldn’t be if you could see who I really am, Patrick. I’m a mess. I’m not good enough for anyone. I mean, the guy I slept with made that perfectly clear when he kicked me out tonight and then tweeted about how he got to sleep with THE David Rose. I just-,” David stopped talking and started hyperventilating and even though Patrick had lots he wanted to say and lots of questions, he knew now was not the time for such things. He had to help talk David down.

 

“David, I think you might be having a panic attack. Can you focus on your breathing for me?”

 

“No, I can’t be having a panic attack. Those aren’t real.”

 

“David, trust me, they are real and you are definitely having one. Close your eyes and focus on your breathing, okay?”

 

It sounded like David had done as he requested because the other line had gone silent except for his breathing.

 

“I’m sorry, Patrick.”

 

“You don’t have to be sorry, David.”

 

“It doesn’t stop me. You’re so good, Patrick. I don’t deserve you.”

 

“Please don’t say that, David. I love being your friend and texting you these past months has been the highlight of my day, okay? I need you to know that.”

 

“Patrick, he ripped my sweater.”

 

“I’m sorry, David, that wasn’t very nice of him.”

 

Patrick wanted to say a lot more about this guy, but he figured it was not appropriate to do so at this point in time. David had been rambling and his words were badly slurred so it had been hard to understand, but he thought he had gotten the gist and if Patrick lived in New York, you could bet your ass that Patrick would go and punch the ever-living shit out of that asshole.

 

It was devastating to him how people could treat David like shit and never know the effect it had on him. Even if they did know, Patrick thought it extremely likely that they wouldn’t care.

 

He heard a noise on the other end of the phone that pulled him from his thoughts. David was groaning and then Patrick heard the undeniable sound of retching.

 

“Oh god,” moaned David. “That’s gonna be a nightmare to clean up.”

 

“Don’t worry about that right now, David. Just lie back down. Stuff is replaceable, but you’re not.”

 

“Patrick?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“This is gonna sound weird, but my nanny used to sing to me when I was feeling really down and you don’t have to, but could you sing to me?”

 

Patrick thought about what song he could sing and one came instantly to mind.

 

“Sure, David, I could do that.”

 

He didn’t have his guitar on hand, but he slowly, softly started to sing:

 

_ You're so mean, when you talk, about yourself you were wrong _

_ Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead _

_ So complicated, look how big, you'll make it _

_ Filled with so much hatred, such a tired game _

_ It's enough! I've done all I can think of _

_ Chased down all my demons, I've seen you do the same _

_ Oh, pretty, pretty please, don't you ever, ever feel _

_ Like you're less than fuckin' perfect _

_ Pretty, pretty please, if you ever, ever feel like you're nothing _

_ You're fuckin' perfect to me _

 

Patrick was fairly certain David had fallen asleep, but he decided to stay on the line in case he woke up and needed him or something. He set his phone down next to him on his bed, on speaker, and stared up at the ceiling. He had a lot of questions, questions he figured he wouldn’t get the answers to, especially when David sobered up. He couldn’t stop thinking about how much David had shared with him. That’s how he had known it was bad. David had shared tidbits from his past here and there, but he had never said so much all at once.

 

Patrick was feeling very distressed for David. He wanted to help him, but he had felt so useless being miles and miles away. He hoped he would feel better when he woke up the next day. Patrick was feeling very tired himself at this point, but he couldn’t sleep because of one detail that kept floating around in his mind “he tweeted about how he had slept with THE David Rose”. David Rose? Why did that name sound so familiar?

 

***

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 12:37pm

_ The weirdest thing happened, I woke up with the song “Fucking Perfect” in my head. _

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 12:38pm

**...you don’t remember anything from last night, do you?**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 12:40pm

_ What do you mean? We didn’t text last night. _

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 12:43pm

**Yes, that’s correct, but you did call me.**

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 12:43pm

**But, hey, before we talk, and believe me, we need to, I need to tell you that you might wanna check your surroundings. You vomited and mentioned it would be a pain to clean up.**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 12:55pm

_ MY. GOD. Well, that rug is ruined…I managed to roll it up and put it with my trash to take out, but eww, that was so gross. So, umm, I have a feeling I’m going to regret asking this, but what do we need to talk about? What did I say to you? _

 

Patrick decided to keep his description of things very simple. He would tell David the bare minimum he needed to know, but then if David asked him anything specific, he determined he would be honest with him.

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:00pm

**Well, you were very upset about how your night had gone and you were also drunk and high. We talked and then you asked me to sing to you so I did.**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:01pm

_ Let me guess, Fucking Perfect? _

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:03pm

**Yes, that would be correct.**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:04pm

_ Wow, I asked you to sing to me...I must’ve been in a dark place. _

 

Patrick had no idea what to say to that. Yes, he definitely agreed that David had been in a dark place, but he wasn’t going to tell David that. He seemed to be in a pretty okay mood today so far and didn’t seem to know about the events that had lead up to him calling Patrick.

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:07pm

_ Oh my god, oh my god, oh this is not good at all. _

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:09pm

**What’s wrong, David?**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:10pm

_ I opened twitter and I have so many notifications. _

 

Patrick tried to send his next text as quickly as possible.

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:10pm

**NO, DON’T LOOK AT THOSE!**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:10pm

_ I can’t believe this. _

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:11pm

**I’m so sorry, David.**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:13pm

_ I told you all about this, didn’t I? _

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:14pm

**Yes, you did.**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:16pm

_ I have to delete my twitter account...this is terrible. This has been seen by so many people. _

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:18pm

**Isn’t there any way you can contact twitter and get it taken down?**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:20pm

_ It wouldn’t matter. There’s hundreds of thousands of replies and retweets on this. I don’t remember what happened at all, but I’m so sorry, Patrick. I never wanted you to be exposed to any of this. _

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:22pm

**David, my only concern was that you were okay. I don’t think of you any differently, I promise.**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:24pm

_ Oh my god, I can only imagine the things I said to you...ugh _

 

This had not been Patrick’s intention. He had only wanted to tell David the basics, but he had quickly found out about the worst parts of the night before.

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 1:26pm

**Don’t worry about that, David, please.**

 

Patrick had a feeling that his reassurances over text were not going to be enough to mollify David. Considering they had now talked on the phone once, whether David remembered it or not, Patrick figured it was okay for them to do it again and he quickly clicked the call button before he chickened out.

 

“Hello?” he heard David ask quietly.

 

“Hey,” he replied softly.

 

“I can’t believe I had you sing to me…”

 

“I didn’t mind. It helped you and I was feeling helpless so I was desperate for anything I could do for you.”

 

“You are too much, Patrick...umm, I don’t actually know your last name.”

 

“It’s Brewer.”

 

“Mine is-,”

 

“Rose,” they said at the same time.

 

“Oh, I told you that?” asked David, sounding surprised.

 

“Yeah, you mentioned it when you were talking about that guy’s tweet.”

 

“Oh. So I guess now you know.”

 

“Yep, your last name is Rose.”

 

David sighed on the other end of the phone and to Patrick it sounded like he was kind of relieved? This confused him, but he decided not to push it.

 

“It’s really good to hear your voice,” Patrick said. “I’ve pictured what you sound like in my head, but it was never close to how you actually sound. You have a nice voice.”

 

“Thank you,” said David and then there was a pause. “Yours isn’t so bad either.”

 

Patrick laughed and then David laughed and Patrick said,

 

“Why are you laughing?”

 

“Your laugh is incredible. I could listen to it forever. And it makes me want to laugh too.”

 

“Well, I’m glad to hear that.”

 

There was a pause and Patrick opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it when he realized David had started to say something. David’s voice had gotten quieter and Patrick had to listen very closely to what he was saying, but he heard him say,

 

“Thank you, Patrick, for everything.”

 

The two of them sat in content silence for a little bit and then David said,

 

“I should probably go. I still need to check my email today, but I had been putting that off.”

 

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do for you.”

 

“You’ve already done too much.”

 

“There’s never too much you can do for your friends,” Patrick said.

 

David cleared his throat and said, “Well, anyway, have a good day. I’ll talk to you later.”

 

“Sure thing. Bye.”

 

***

 

Patrick had been looking over some sales projections his boss had asked him to when his phone buzzed.

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 3:16pm

_ Just when I thought things were starting to settle down and I was starting to feel slightly more okay about last night’s events… _

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 3:18pm

**What happened?**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 3:20pm

_ My mother sent me an email, yes an EMAIL, saying that  “I need to try to not let my promiscuity bring any more negative attention to the Rose name”. _

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 3:22pm

**What? She said that? That’s awful! This isn’t your fault at all. That guy shouldn’t have tweeted about it!**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 3:24pm

_ You try explaining that to my mother. She sees what she wants to see in situations. Like I’m fairly certain she loves me, but I think she loves the spotlight a little bit more. _

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 3:27pm

**Do you need me to speak to your mother? I’d tell her a thing or two…**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 3:30pm

_ If your goal was to make me laugh, congrats, you succeeded. _

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 3:31pm

**My goal is always to make you laugh. You deserve to be happy.**

 

Patrick felt nervous sending that message for some reason, his stomach clenched and he was sweating a bit. It was probably just that he knew David never knew how to respond when he said stuff like that. Yeah, that was definitely it.

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 3:35pm

**...okay, enough of that. Let’s talk about you. How are you doing?**

 

Patrick smiled. He had anticipated such a response from David, but he didn’t mind the topic change.

 

[To David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 3:36pm

**Oh, I’m great. I’m just looking over some projections for work, which I’m sure is such a FASCINATING topic for you.**

 

[From David] Sun. Jul 20, 2014 3:38pm

_ Well...consider me intrigued. Tell me more about these projections. _

 

***

 

Patrick was at his cousin’s wedding reception and he had had a LOT to drink. He was sitting awkwardly by himself, trying to get to the point where he no longer cared about how lonely and miserable he was feeling. No shocker there, but the alcohol wasn’t really helping with that. He supposed he could text David, then he wouldn’t really be alone.

 

[To David] Sat. Jul. 26, 2014 10:37pm

**heeeeey david**

 

[From David] Sat. Jul 26, 2014 10:38pm

_...someone looks like he’s having fun _

 

[To David] Sat. Jul 26, 2014 10:40pm

**Not really tbh is that bad to say i mean it is my cousins wedding**

 

[From David] Sat. Jul 26, 2014 10:40pm

_ Oh my god, drunk Patrick, learn what punctuation is! Your messages are so hard to read! _

 

[From David] Sat. Jul 26, 2014 10:41pm

_ And no, I don’t think that’s bad to say. Couldn’t you go home if you’re not having a good time? _

 

[To David] Sat. Jul 26, 2014 10:45pm

**hahaha hey there davidlilah whats it like in new york city**

 

[From David] Sat Jul 26, 2014 10:46pm

_ ….did the alcohol completely remove your brain? What is happening here? _

 

[To David] Sat. Jul 26, 2014 10:48pm

**hey there delilah came on and i just thought it would be funny to insert your name instead it fits because ur from nyc**

 

[From David] Sat. Jul 26, 2014 10:50pm

_ Okay, wow, I am never letting you live this down. _

 

Patrick looked at his phone and was about to reply to David when he spotted a very familiar face.

 

“Patrick? How are you? It’s so good to see you!” Rachel said.

 

What was she doing here?

 

Based on the way Rachel was looking at him, he might have said that last part out loud when he hadn’t meant to.

 

“Cynthia is my friend from college, remember? That’s why I’m here.”

 

Oh right. His cousin had met his wife because of Rachel.

 

“Anyway, you look good.”

 

“You do too,” Patrick said.

 

“I never heard from you.”

 

“Yeah, I’m sorry, I’ve just been really busy with-,”

 

“Work stuff, right,” she said, but she didn’t seem angry when she said that.

 

“I’m sorry, Rachel. I never meant to make it seem like I liked work more than you. We just had several people leave and I was swamped and-,”

 

“Patrick, it’s okay. You don’t have to explain. The way I acted wasn’t okay and you didn’t deserve that.”

 

“Thanks for saying that,” Patrick said.

 

“Do you wanna get out of here?” Rachel asked.

 

“Yes,” he said quickly, not even giving it a second thought.

 

Their shared apartment was really close to where the wedding reception had been so they didn’t even have to call a cab or anything, they just walked. It took a little bit longer than it would have had either of them been sober, but eventually, they had arrived.

 

Rachel unlocked the door and the two of them went inside. The door had barely shut before Rachel was kissing him and he was kissing back. It was passionate and desperate and god, had it been a long time since Patrick had experienced this.

 

The two of them made their way to the bed and were hurriedly removing their clothes.

 

***

 

Patrick woke up the next morning very disoriented. He was confused when he woke up in a vaguely familiar place. Blinking rapidly to try to make things make more sense around him, he quickly realized exactly where he was. He looked next to him to see a still sleeping Rachel and he tried to remember how he had ended up here in bed with her.

 

Rachel rolled over and opened her eyes, looking at him. She smiled and said,

 

“Hey, good morning!”

 

“Hi,” he said in return.

 

“Are you okay? Does your head hurt? I can get you something if you need it.”

 

“No, no I’m fine. Just thinking.”

 

“What are you thinking about?”

 

“Us. This.”

 

“Good thoughts, I hope.”

 

“Rachel, I love you, but we can’t keep doing this back and forth thing. It’s not good for either of us. And I was really hurt when you kicked me out of here before. If we are gonna make this work, we have to communicate better.”

 

“So you still do want to try to make things work between us?”

 

“If that’s what you want.”

 

“I do, Patrick, I really do. I don’t want to be apart from you anymore, Patrick. I’ve missed you so much and I really am sorry for everything.”

 

Patrick smiled and said, “I’ve missed you too. I really want to make things work with you, Rachel.”

 

“I want that too. So much.”

 

Rachel decided she wanted to go back to sleep and Patrick had some work he needed to get done so he sat up in their bed with his laptop in tow. He looked at her when she was asleep and admired how beautiful she was.

 

His phone went off and Rachel murmured,

 

“What was that?”

 

“Oh, it was just a friend of mine, babe. Go back to sleep.”

 

He turned the sound off on his phone and then opened the text from David.

 

[From David] Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:17am

_ Where’d you disappear off to last night? Did you drink so much you passed out? _

 

[To David] Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:18am

**I actually ran into Rachel and we slept together.**

 

[From David] Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:19am

_...and then you told her it’s been swell, but she needs to get lost, right? _

 

[To David] Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:20am

**No, David, I didn’t. Why are you acting like this?**

 

[From David] Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:22am

_ Why are YOU acting like this? The girl insults you, breaks up with you, and kicks you out and then you go crawling back to her the minute she asks you to? _

 

[To David] Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:24am

**You know very well that it was not the minute she asked me to and I don’t understand why this is any of your business. You don’t know me and you don’t know my girlfriend.**

 

[From David] Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:25am

_ Oh “girlfriend”, that’s very cute. Don’t come crying to me when she breaks up with you again because you came home five minutes late. _

 

[To David] Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:27am

**Okay, we’re done here. Have a nice life, David.**

 

[From David] Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:29am

_ Yeah, have fun with your girlfriend. _

 

Patrick was livid. Just who did David think he was anyway and what gave him the right to say such things? It’s not like his love life had gone any better and yet he was telling Patrick that he was in the wrong?!

 

It had been a while, but suddenly something David had said from their very first conversation popped into his head “well, have you ever considered maybe not doing that?”. It had been a while since he had thought about those words. At one point in time, they had made him feel confused and unsure, now they only made him angry.

 

Who did David Rose think he was telling Patrick what to do?  _ Only your friend... _ his brain unhelpfully supplied. He put aside what he was working on, his brain too muddled to be able to produce anything anyone could make any sense of.

 

***

 

He had only not been texting David for a day and he couldn’t take it. He had thought maybe he could just try to return to life as it was before he had texted some random person’s number he found on a bathroom wall, but he was trying and failing at it miserably. Was it a little pathetic that his closest friend was someone whom he had never even met and texted every day? Maybe yeah, but he didn’t care. He had grown accustomed to having someone to talk to all day, someone whom he felt like he was getting to know, but didn’t know him, not really, and now that person was gone because Patrick had basically told him to fuck off.

 

Would he even answer if Patrick tried to text him again? Patrick hoped he would, but he wasn’t sure.

 

All day at work on that Tuesday afternoon, he debated with himself. He reached for his phone several times, trying to type out a message, but quickly deleting everything he had written and locking his phone again.

 

Rachel texted him, asking if he wanted to get dinner with her, and he said yes.

 

He somehow got through the rest of his work day and went home to relax for a bit before needing to go pick up Rachel for dinner. He laid there on his couch, but his eyes kept glancing at his phone. He found himself wondering what David was up to right now. Usually at this point in the day, the two of them would be talking about some wacky thing or another.

 

Soon enough, it was time for Patrick to head out to go pick up Rachel. The whole car ride, his mind was going a mile a minute, thinking about everything David had said. It wasn’t like he was wrong. One of the first things the two of them had talked about had been his break-up with Rachel and while he didn’t appreciate David throwing back things he had told him as ammunition, David had a right to his opinion. God, why was he so obsessed with what David thought anyway? And why was he missing him so goddamned much?

 

His thoughts on this topic came to a halt as he arrived at Rachel’s house and walked up to her door. She kissed him in greeting and then the two of them headed back to his car, with Patrick opening the passenger side door for her.

 

Rachel started talking about her day and Patrick occasionally nodded or said “mhm” to try to show that he was listening, but if he was completely honest, he was not. He was still thinking about dumb stupid David and how much he missed texting him.

 

Patrick hadn’t even noticed that the car was now extremely silent and Rachel was looking at him.

 

“Oh, I’m sorry, babe, what did you say?”

 

“I asked if you were okay. You seem pretty distracted today.”

 

“Oh, uh, I’m just tired. I had a hard time getting to sleep last night.”

 

“Okay, well, we don’t have to stay out late tonight. I just wanted to see you for a bit.”

 

“Yeah, I wanted to see you too. I’m sorry I’m not being more attentive.”

 

“It’s okay, Patrick. I understand.”

 

Patrick smiled. David should see them now! Then he’d think twice before saying anything about his relationship! When things were like this with Rachel and they were getting along, it was great. Rachel was great, really. And Patrick did love her. Maybe that was why he had gotten so defensive.

 

He and Rachel had been together for half his life. And the way they always seemed to make their way back to each other must be a sign that everything was meant to work out for him. Patrick couldn’t stand the thought of being apart from her ever again and so he knew what he had to do. 


	7. David's POV

David may not be good at his own relationships, but he knew one thing was clear: Patrick did not belong with Rachel. Just based on the little that he had been told about the situation, it seemed unhealthy to be on this back and forth all the time. David was concerned for Patrick and that’s why he had said what he said. Could he have been a little nicer about it? Of course, but he wanted Patrick to know just how serious he felt about the fact that he felt Patrick was making a mistake.

 

He should have known it would not be taken well. He wasn’t exactly the poster child for healthy relationships, but he had just hoped Patrick would be stronger than him. He felt he was really getting to know Patrick and from the things he had gathered, could clearly see that Patrick deserved better.

 

Of course, none of that mattered now because Patrick was well and truly done with him. Nobody likes to have their actions judged or to be told they are making a mistake and in typical David Rose fashion, he had put his foot in his mouth and self-sabotaged his one and only true friendship.

 

While it was true that the fact he considered a guy he texted who he hadn’t even met his only friend was a sad one, he couldn’t help it. People came and went in his life and he had thought Patrick would be one to break the pattern, but he guessed not. And he only had himself to blame.

 

A week had passed since he and Patrick had fought and it was driving him crazy. He wanted to reach out, to say that he was sorry for what he had said, but he wasn’t, not really. And he didn’t want his reaching out to be built on a lie so he tried to accept that he would never speak to Patrick Brewer ever again.

 

Needless to say, he was not talking this fact very well and that’s how he found himself drinking alone at a bar, staring at his text conversation with Patrick. He decided to say fuck it and he sent a text.

 

[To Patrick] Sun. Aug 3, 2014 9:37pm

_ Look, Patrick, I’m sorry I said what I said the way I said it. I shouldn’t have been so blunt. It’s just, you’re my friend and I care about you and you seemed so sad before when talking about Rachel and so I thought you were making a mistake. This probably isn’t helping my case at all, but I need you to know that what I said only came from a place of caring about you and it wasn’t meant to be judgy or preachy. Ultimately, what you do is your concern and your life and is none of my business. I...just really care about you and don’t want to lose you as a friend. _

 

After he sent it, David went back to staring at his phone, eager to see if Patrick would respond. He was so intently focused on his phone that he was startled when a woman’s voice near him said,

 

“Who are you texting all alone at a bar?”

 

He looked up at her and saw that she was gorgeous, but he couldn’t even begin to care about that right now. All he could think about was Patrick and how he was doing and if he would even text him back. So he replied to the woman,

 

“Oh, it’s my friend Patrick. We had a fight recently and I texted him apologizing, but I don’t think he’s going to respond. I really want him to though. I’m worried I ruined everything.”

 

“Well, darn, I came over here to try to win your heart, but it seems like somebody’s already done that.”

 

David looked up at her abruptly.

 

“What? No! No, I don’t feel that way about him. I mean, I like him, yes, but he’s my, I mean, we’re friends, I could never-,”

 

“It’s in your eyes. Your eyes light up when you’re talking about him. So how come you’re sitting here texting him instead of with him?”

 

“He’s in Toronto and also he’s straight and dating a woman he keeps going back to.”

 

“You seem to have strong feelings about that.”

 

“One of the very first times we spoke, he told me about how much she had hurt him. She had just dumped him, again, he said, and she kicked him out of their apartment. And then ever since, the two of us have been talking, building our friendship, and he tells me last week that he slept with her and he got back together with her and it seems wrong. He deserves better than that. He deserves everything great.”

 

The woman smiled at him and said,

 

“Well, after a speech like that, might I ask how come you didn’t realize you have feelings for him?”

 

“I’m not...good with emotions. Like usually it’s all about the physical for me, but Patrick’s different. He cares about me which is new and something I’m not used to and it’s like I don’t know what to do with that, if that makes sense? Plus, even if he wasn’t straight and dating a woman, he still wouldn’t want me. I’m a lot. I’m too much and I couldn’t put that on him.”

 

“Have you ever considered telling him how you feel?”

 

“Well, until you came up to me, I didn’t really know I felt this way, so, no, the thought has never really crossed my mind.”

 

“I think maybe it has subconsciously, I mean, think about it. Why else would an attractive man like you be sitting alone, drinking, and staring at his phone, anxiously awaiting a text from his ‘friend’?”

 

The woman walked away before David could even say anything to her. He’s half-wondering if he didn’t just hallucinate all that because when he looked up, she’s gone.

 

David sat there, contemplating what the woman said to him and realized his mouth was hanging wide open because everything the woman had said to him, every last thing, was true. And that’s when it really hit him...he liked Patrick. He wanted a life with Patrick. Never had David wanted anything so unattainable.

 

And then his phone buzzed and he felt butterflies. Patrick had answered his text! Maybe they could fix things between them after all! And that’s when he saw the text that made his stomach lurch.

 

[From Patrick] Sun. Aug 3, 2014 11:12pm

**I asked Rachel to marry me and she said yes.**

 

And David would never be the same again.

 

***

 

He paid his tab and left the bar, his mind a giant whirling mess of emotion. He didn’t know whether he wanted to cry, throw up, hyperventilate, or all of those at once. The timing of this all was just extremely bothersome. He wished he could go back in time to when he was still in the dark about his feelings for Patrick because now being aware of them and knowing that he was now engaged was absolutely devastating to him. He could not even begin to fathom what he was going to say to Patrick, but he definitely didn’t want to lose him.

 

No, he had made up his mind. He would congratulate him, they would make up, and he would stay Patrick’s friend because he could not lose him. He would not lose him. He refused to even entertain a world where he wasn’t Patrick’s friend. And most importantly, he would keep this mighty secret he now knew he held to himself, never to be spoken of to anyone.

 

***

 

A few weeks had passed and it was like they were back to normal, but it could not be further from the truth, at least from David’s perspective. David had done as planned and had congratulated Patrick on his engagement and had tried to be supportive whenever the topic came up, but he only did that if Patrick brought it up because he was not about to ask about how Rachel was doing or how the wedding planning was going or anything like that. He still felt bitter about Rachel, he couldn’t help it. He knew she had known Patrick longer than him and she was the one Patrick had asked to marry, but David was so so jealous. Feelings were a bitch and never had he been full of so many of them at once. They were so overwhelming.

 

He was getting ready for bed one night when he got an SOS text from Alexis. David sighed. It had been a while since he had spoken to Alexis, but she often would send these SOS texts to let him know she was in trouble. He texted her back saying only “where are you this time” and she replied back “Cambodia”.

 

Alexis had a knack for getting herself into sticky situations and then relying on David to get her out of them. He had no doubt that whichever scumbag tool she was dating this time around was involved somehow, but he wouldn’t be getting the full story until he had gotten her out of trouble.

 

He quickly packed a bag and ordered a ticket. He chose one with only one stop, but even with the one stop, it would still be a very long flight. The soonest flight was leaving at 5:00 in the morning, so he planned on trying to get a little bit of sleep and then waking up at around 2:00 am and heading to the airport.

 

***

 

His alarm went off far too early and he found himself cursing Alexis for putting him in this situation. He was hoping to pop a couple of Xanax and sleep on the airplane, but he had to actually get up to get there first and he was not excited about it.

 

He got to the airport with plenty of time to spare and he sat near his gate. His eyes kept threatening to shut and he had to keep waking himself up. He just needed time to go faster so he could be on the airplane already.

 

Finally, they were calling people to get on the plane and he settled into his spot. He did what he always did first on airplanes, which was pay for Wifi, and then they came around asking if he wanted anything to drink. He just ordered water for now because he still wanted to take his Xanax so he could get some sleep.

 

***

 

He woke up feeling very groggy. He checked what time it was and he had slept for five hours of his 20-hour flight. They were coming around asking what people wanted for breakfast and David ordered eggs florentine and a mimosa. While he was waiting, he decided to text Patrick and fill him in on the craziness that was happening.

 

[To Patrick] Mon. Aug 25, 2014 10:07am (Eastern time)

_ You will never believe what I am up to right now _

 

[From Patrick] Mon. Aug 25, 2014 10:08am

**Considering how early you’re awake, it must be something crazy.**

 

[To Patrick] Mon. Aug 25, 2014 10:09am

_ 10:00 I can handle. What I couldn’t handle was having to get up at 2am to catch a flight to Cambodia. _

 

[From Patrick] Mon. Aug 25, 2014 10:11am

**Cambodia? Why on earth are you going to Cambodia?**

 

[To Patrick] Mon. Aug 25, 2014 10:12am

_ Remember when I told you about my sister and how she’s always texting me to bail her out of crazy situations? _

 

[From Patrick] Mon. Aug 25, 2014 10:14am

**Yes, yes I do.**

 

[To Patrick] Mon. Aug 25, 2014 10:16am

_ Well, she texted me last night with an “SOS” text (which she sends whenever she’s in some kind of trouble) and so now I’m headed there. _

 

[From Patrick] Mon. Aug 25, 2014 10:20am

**How did she end up there?**

 

[To Patrick] Mon. Aug 25, 2014 10:24am

_ I don’t even know. All I know is her location and that she’s evidently in some kind of trouble. _

 

[From Patrick] Mon. Aug 25, 2014 10:26am

**Wow, and to think the only interesting thing that happened to me this morning was Rachel spilling her coffee on my jacket.**

 

David rolled his eyes. He so did not want to talk about Rachel right now.

 

[To Patrick] Mon. Aug 25, 2014 10:27am

_ Oh, hey, Patrick, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go. They’re bringing around breakfast and after that, I’m gonna try to get some more sleep. I’ve still got a long flight ahead of me. _

 

[From Patrick] Mon. Aug 25, 2014 10:30am

**Oh, of course! Have a safe flight and I hope you get some rest!**

 

David felt a little bad about lying to Patrick, but he didn’t want to get caught in a conversation about Rachel.

 

He ate his breakfast, drank his mimosa, and then turned on  _ the Devil Wears Prada _ . He only got about halfway through it before he had fallen asleep again.

 

***

 

He was so ready to get off this airplane. They had finally landed, but it was taking forever for people to file out of the plane. David yawned, feeling relieved to finally be able to stretch.

 

He texted Alexis that he had arrived and then he set out to find her.

 

***

 

Alexis, finally safe, David felt like he could breathe properly again. He had secured them both tickets back to New York, where he was sure Alexis would run off again, but at least he knew she would safe for the next day or so.

 

They got on the plane, Alexis insisting on getting the window seat and David rolling his eyes, but letting her have it anyway because that’s what big brothers are for, right? Alexis started in talking about her scummy boyfriend who she hoped was okay (like he had for one second worried about her when she had gotten left behind in Cambodia, but whatever) and David felt like he needed a drink. Maybe, no, probably several.

 

It looked like Alexis had nodded off and David pulled out his phone to text Patrick.

 

[To Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 8:16pm (Cambodian time)

_ Hey, Patrick! _

 

[From Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:17am (Eastern time)

**Wow, you’re up early!**

 

[To Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 8:19pm (Cambodian time)

_ Actually, I’m in the future so it’s not as early here. _

 

[From Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:19am (Eastern time)

**Wait, what?**

 

[From Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:20am (Eastern time)

**Oh right, you’re in Cambodia. How’s Alexis?**

 

[To Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 8:22pm (Cambodian time)

_ Oh, she’s fine. It turns out she hadn’t been kidnapped and held for ransom or anything like that this time. Her boyfriend, and I use that term loosely, and the group she was traveling with left without her and she didn’t have enough money on her to get home because he had been holding her purse. _

 

[From Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:25am (Eastern time)

**Wow, they just left her there? They sound terrible.**

 

[To Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 8:27pm (Cambodian time)

_ Oh believe me, I never met them, but I’m sure they are terrible. Alexis knows how to pick them…Don’t worry about her though. She honestly seemed more upset about having lost her Louis Vuitton purse than the fact that her group abandoned her. Like I’ve said before, shallow… _

 

He had just sent the text message when he heard a huff beside him and then his phone was being snatched out of his hand.

 

“Alexis! Give me back my phone!”

 

“Not until I see who you’re telling I’m shallow to.”

 

“Look, I’m sorry I said that, Alexis. I just-,”

 

“Whatever, David,” Alexis said as she proceeded to scroll through his text conversation with Patrick. He was nervous, so nervous that she was doing that. His earlier urges for a drink returning, he ordered a Bloody Mary. He tried to pry his phone from Alexis’s hands, but she scootched as far over as she could and David couldn’t quite reach her plus he didn’t really want to make a scene on the plane.

 

It was only when he saw her typing that he started to feel really nervous. He looked around to make sure no one was paying them any attention and then he lunged for his phone and managed to get it back from her.

 

[To Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 8:30pm (Cambodian time)

_ My brother seems to spend all his time on his phone texting you, who are you???! _

 

 

[From Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:31am (Eastern time)

**Uhhhh, David, is this some kind of joke? If so, let me in on it because I don’t understand.**

 

 

[To Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 8:33pm (Cambodian time)

_ Oh my god, I’m so sorry, Alexis stole my phone. She saw that I called her shallow and she snatched it out of my hand and decided to text you. _

 

 

[From Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:35am (Eastern time)

**...you didn’t tell her about me?**

 

 

[To Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 8:38pm (Cambodian time)

_ And what would I say exactly? Oh yeah, Alexis, I wrote my number on a bathroom stall for lols and some guy started texting me because of it and now we talk all the time?! That makes me sound crazy. _

 

 

[From Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:40am (Eastern time)

**Who’s to say you’re not?**

 

 

[To Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 8:42pm (Cambodian time)

_ Umm, I’ll have you know I’ve done some crazy things in my time and I wouldn’t consider this one of them. _

 

 

[From Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:45am (Eastern time)

**I don’t know whether to be freaked out by that or just take it as a compliment.**

 

 

[To Patrick] Tue Aug 26, 2014 8:46pm (Cambodian time)

_ Just take the compliment, it’s not like I hand them out freely. _

 

“David, who is that?”

 

“Alexis, stop harassing me!”

 

“No, you know I will just keep asking until you tell me.”

 

“Well, I’m not telling you.”

 

“David, who is that? Come on, tell me! Why is it this big secret? Is he your boyfriend?”

 

David flinched. He hadn’t meant to, but he had done it and Alexis had seen it and there was no going back now.

 

“Oh my god, David! Is he?! Tell me! Tell me everything!”

 

David turned to look at her.

 

“Fine! I will tell you everything, but not before I have about five more of these Bloody Marys.”

 

True to his word, David ordered several more Bloody Marys over the next several hours and Alexis was starting to lose her shit.

 

“Daviiiiid,” she whined. “You told me you were going to tell me the sitch with that guy hours ago!”

 

“What? Did you think I was kidding when I said I needed five more Bloody Marys to be able to do it? Newsflash: I was not kidding! And I’m not gonna down five Bloody Marys in such a short period of time, they’re gonna think I’m an alcoholic!”

 

“Umm, well, they probably already think you are one, for starters, and also, it’s never stopped you before. Remember how fast you downed all those drinks at Jonathan Groff’s Labor Day party?”

 

“Okay, well, this is different, I-,”

 

“Why are you putting this off, David? He’s just a guy!”

 

Before he could even think about what he was saying, he blurted out, “He’s NOT just a guy, Alexis. I think I love him and he’s engaged to some girl named Rachel.”

 

Alexis’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open.

 

“You vowed to never fall for another straight guy after-,”

 

“Yes, I know what I vowed Alexis, and it’s like not like I did it on purpose. It took me such a long time to figure it out and now here I am, in love with a straight guy who will run off and get married and never be the wiser.”

 

Alexis’s voice softened as she said, “I’m sorry, David, that must be hard.”

 

“It is,” he said quietly.

 

Their conversation dropped off into an uncomfortable, stiff silence. It was like that for quite a while before Alexis fell asleep and left David alone with his thoughts.

 

Stupid Patrick. Stupid Rachel and their stupid dumb wedding. Stupid feelings and emotions that he had never asked for, but had fallen into his lap. Stupid woman who had made him realize he liked Patrick like that. But then something else the woman had said to him popped into his head “have you ever considered telling him how you feel?”.

 

He couldn’t do that. He shouldn’t do that. It would ruin his friendship with Patrick forever. Remember what you told yourself, David, that secret was never to be told to anyone, especially not Patrick. But what was the harm in telling him? Rachel had already gotten him. She had won. David could tell him how he feels and then flee at the first chance of a negative reaction.

 

[To Patrick] Wed. Aug 27, 2014 5:06am (Cambodian time)

_ There’s something I haven’t told you, but I really think you need to know and that’s that I think I might be starting to fall in love with you. And I get it, you have Rachel and that’s who you’ve chosen, but I just needed you to know that. _

 

He pressed send and then he passed out.

 

***

 

David woke up to Alexis shaking him.

 

“David, David! We’re landing.”

 

“Huh? What?”

 

David woke up and was filled with panic. He didn’t know why or what, but something wasn’t right and was causing him all sorts of anxiety.

 

He looked at his phone screen, no notifications. He unlocked his phone and there, staring him right in the face, was the confession he had drunkenly sent to Patrick. Something Patrick was never supposed to know. And right below it, was the tiny indication that everything was ruined “Read 6:07pm”. The message had been read hours ago and there was no response.

 

He felt all his limbs turn to jelly, his heart beating incredibly fast. It was a good thing they had not gotten off this plane yet because David would have fallen over. How could he have even for one minute, drunk or not, thought that was a good idea?! This was the end. It had been a good run while their friendship had lasted, but Patrick was never going to talk to him again and it was all his fault. 


	8. Patrick's POV (going back in time a little)

Patrick and Rachel were planning on going to dinner and then to do some wedding planning that Tuesday night. Patrick just wanted to take a quick shower and then they could be on their way. He was about to step in the shower when Rachel called out,

 

“Babe, I think the wedding planner sent some ideas for tuxes to your email. Can I take a look?”

 

“Yeah, of course,” Patrick replied. “You know the code right?”

 

“Yep! I’m in! Hey, you got a te-,” Rachel said, but something cut her off.

 

“Rach? I got a what?” Patrick said, coming into the same room as her.

 

“Who is David?”

 

Patrick looked at her, startled.

 

“David is a friend of mine.”

 

“Oh, really? He’s a friend?”

 

“...yeah. What’s the big deal, Rachel?”

 

“Well, your friend just texted to say he loves you…” she said bitterly.

 

Patrick grabbed the phone from her and looked at the message.

 

[From David] Tue. Aug 26, 2014 6:06pm

_ There’s something I haven’t told you, but I really think you need to know and that’s that I think I might be starting to fall in love with you. And I get it, you have Rachel and that’s who you’ve chosen, but I just needed you to know that. _

 

He just stood there, gaping at his phone, and Rachel said,

 

“How long has this been going on for?”

 

“Huh?”

 

“How long have you been texting him?”

 

“Uh, we’ve been texting since May.”

 

“And were you ever going to tell me about this?”

 

“What’s there to tell?” Patrick started going on the defensive, raising his voice.

 

“Patrick, I’m not a moron. Clearly, there’s something going on here.”

 

“He’s my, my friend,” Patrick stuttered out.

 

“Patrick, listen to yourself. You can’t sit here and tell me even you bought that.”

 

As soon as Patrick heard what Rachel had said, he realized she was right. He thought back on all those times he and David had not so subtly been flirting. He hadn’t realized it at the time, but it was becoming so clear now. He liked David. He liked David?!

 

Rachel’s voice was strained and filled with tears when she asked, quietly,

 

“Did you even ever want to marry me?”

 

He tried to get closer to her, to comfort her, but she backed away.

 

“Yes, of course, Rachel. I didn’t, I mean, I never knew-,”

 

She nodded, indicating she knew what he was going to say before he had even said it.  Before he had to say it.

 

“I’m so sorry, Rachel.”

 

She just nodded again and Patrick hated that he had caused this. He had never imagined he would ever hurt her like this. Of course, the two of them had fought before, but this was, this was final. An unforeseen conclusion to a story he had previously thought would be his happily ever after.

 

“I’m gonna get my stuff-,” said Rachel.

 

“No, Rachel, I’ll go. You keep the apartment.”

 

He packed up his stuff and was about to leave when Rachel said,

 

“Patrick?”

 

He looked back and she was handing him the engagement ring. He took it from her and headed towards the door.

 

“Good luck with him. I hope things work out for the two of you,” Rachel said.

 

“Thank you. Again, I’m so-,”

 

“Sorry. Yeah, I know, Patrick. I’ll be okay. I just need some time.”

 

Patrick smiled and then he left, closing the door on that chapter of his life.

 

***

 

He went to his parent’s house, set his stuff down, and then everything he had been holding in: all the confusion, the turmoil, the sadness, and even the relief, came pouring out of him. He couldn’t hold it in anymore.

 

He had spent his whole life up until this point thinking he was straight, knowing he would marry a woman, and have children and that would be his life. He had thought for years up until a couple of hours ago that that woman he was meant to be with was Rachel. So he cried for the sadness of losing her, a big part of his life, and for the pain he had caused her. He cried because he was afraid of what to do now, how to proceed, what his next steps should be. He cried at the unknown and how terrifying and yet somehow also exhilarating it was. He cried because he felt right liking David. Even if he didn’t know what was in store for them or even if David was who he was meant to end up with, he felt right for the first time in his life.

 

The door opened and his mom called out, “Patrick? I didn’t expect you here today!” and even if he wanted to, Patrick could not stop crying.

 

His mom came into the room and then said, “Patrick, dear. What’s wrong?”

 

She sat beside him on the couch and pulled him into her arms and he just sobbed into her shoulder while she rubbed his back, much like how she had that night when he had been really drunk. But he wasn’t drunk now, except for maybe drunk on the feelings of control he finally felt he had over his life.

 

Finally, after what felt like forever, his crying ceased and his mom asked,

 

“Patrick? Did something happen with Rachel?”

 

“We’re over. For good this time, Mom.”

 

Patrick couldn’t be sure, but it seemed like his mother looked kind of relieved at his admission.

 

“What happened?”

 

“I’ll tell you that, I promise, I will, but first, I just really think I need some time to think and a good night’s sleep.”

 

“Okay, well, I’ll be here whenever you’re ready to talk.”

 

Patrick went to his room and crawled in his bed. He texted David.

 

[To David] Tue, Aug 26, 2014 8:35pm

**Hey, whenever you land, can you give me a call please?**

 

After he sent that text, he closed his eyes and fell asleep.

 

***

 

He woke up to the phone ringing. He checked the time and saw it was 3:33am.

 

He answered it, realizing he probably sounded awful, and said,

 

“David?”

 

“Patrick, oh my god, I-,”

 

“Listen, David, I know that we have around a week left until we agreed to meet, but I don’t want to wait any longer. Will you meet me in Toronto?”

 

“I,uh, what? If this is about what I said-,”

 

“We will get to all that, but it needs to be in person. I’ll be at Auberge Du Pommier at 7:00pm tomorrow night. Will you be there?”

 

There was a pause and then David said, “Yes.” and then the phone call ended.


	9. David's POV

If David had to pick one adjective to describe the state of his life at this moment, it would be chaotic. He had spent hours thinking he would never get to speak to Patrick again, thinking all was ruined between them because of his drunken confession, and then all of a sudden, Patrick had called him up, telling him he had to meet him a week early? What was up with that? What was going on? Was this what Patrick thought would be the best way to let him down easy? Did he want to meet him so he could tell him to his face how much the idea of David loving him disgusted him? If there was a negative way this first meeting with Patrick could go, David’s mind had conjured it up.

 

On top of all the stress he was under, he was incredibly jetlagged which just did not help things at all. He had been through countless time zones which was incredibly confusing, plus it had been a long flight and they had landed at about 3 am Wednesday morning. This particular Wednesday hadn’t exactly been great the first time around so David didn’t really know how he felt about reliving it.

 

And now Patrick was asking him to get on another flight to Toronto? Sure, it was a way shorter flight, but David already felt dead to the world. And he really didn’t want to meet Patrick looking and feeling like a zombie.

 

He figured the plan would be to head back to his apartment and add more things to his already packed bag. He had already been intending to be in Toronto for TiFF, what difference did one week make, really?

 

As soon as he got into his apartment, every thought he had of doing anything productive left his head as soon as he spotted his bed. He would just sleep for a little bit and then he’d get up and get ready to go to Toronto.

 

***

 

He woke up, frantically reaching for his phone to check the time. It was just around 3:00 pm. He was going to be meeting Patrick in around four hours and he was not at all ready, he hadn’t even booked a flight yet.

 

He quickly booked a flight that would get him into Toronto at around 6:30, which was too close for comfort, but if he wanted to get to the airport in plenty of time, he had to leave now. He grabbed his bag from his trip to Cambodia, added a couple of things, checked to make sure he had his phone, charger, keys, and wallet, and then he headed out the door to drive to the airport for the second time this week.

 

***

 

He was a shaking mess the whole flight. His anxiety was so bad, his brain unhelpfully supplying a number of ways this whole night could go very wrong. Patrick would take one look at him-a mess disguised as a human- and bolt.

 

As soon as the plane landed, he received a text message.

 

[From Patrick] Wed. Aug 27, 2014 6:33pm

**It occurred to me that we didn’t establish a way to recognize each other after we hung up the call last night. Just to let you know, I’m at a table near the window. I’m wearing a blue shirt and there’s a single rose in a vase sitting on the table in front of me. See you soon!**

 

David wanted to cry at how sweet that was, but he didn’t have time to do so, in too much of a hurry to make it to the restaurant in time.

 

***

 

He had made it with five minutes to spare. He peeked in the window and sitting there was a very attractive man in a blue button-down shirt. David could not believe that Patrick was that attractive, but he knew it had to be him because sure enough, there was a single rose sitting in front of him.

 

David tried to breathe, tried to assure himself he could do this. He tried to get his feet to move, but they wouldn’t. His brain was screaming at him to go in there, to talk to Patrick, but he was freaked out. Patrick was going to tell him they couldn’t be friends anymore or hand him an invitation to his wedding or something. Patrick was going to take one look at him and say “I can’t be friends with you” in the most disgusted tone imaginable. Patrick was too good for him and it was time he realized that.

 

David turned and ran away, trying to find a hotel so he could book a room, check in, and cry.

 

[From Patrick] Wed. Aug 27, 2014 7:05pm

**Hey, I’m here. Are you on your way?**

 

David located a hotel and luckily, there was a room available. He booked it for one night and then once he had gotten the key, he headed to his room.

 

[From Patrick] Wed. Aug 27, 2014 7:34pm

**Did you get lost or something?**

 

David saw the two texts from Patrick and it only made his anxiety worse. He felt like he was dying. His heart was beating so fast and he was sweating and shaking and he couldn’t breathe. He sat on the bed and wrapped his arms around his knees, hugging them close to his chest. He just needed everything to stop for a while. It was too much. He should never have agreed to do this. Patrick deserved a better friend than he was being. God, why couldn’t he just be a normal person and not freak out about stupid fucking things all the time?

 

[From Patrick] Wed. Aug 27, 2014 7:58pm

**I get it, David. I can take a hint. You’re not coming. This was a mistake. I feel so stupid.**

 

No, you’re not the stupid one, thought David. It’s me!

 

He needed to try to salvage whatever remained of their friendship. So he did the only thing he could think of: he called Patrick.

 

“What do you want, David?”

 

“I’m s-s-sorry, Patrick. I showed up and I saw you and I panicked.”

 

“Wait, you were there?”

 

“Yes, I was there. I s-s-saw you through the window and you looked so good and I freaked out and so I ran to a nearby hotel. I th-th-thought you were going to tell me you didn’t want to be my friend anymore after taking one look at me or m-maybe this dinner was your way of trying to let me down gently and I don’t want to go to your wedding, okay? It would hurt too much!”

 

Patrick laughed and David’s heart hurt. He had just admitted all of that and Patrick was laughing at him?

 

“Okay, I have a lot to say to all of that, but I should start by saying I’m an idiot and should have realized how this might look to you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t want to meet you because I wanted to invite you to my wedding or to let you down gently, okay? I wanted to meet you because I love you and I want to see you and I need you to know that I don’t care what you look like, it doesn’t change that. I love you so much, David.”

 

David was fairly certain he was having a stroke because that’s the only explanation he could think of to explain why it had sounded like Patrick had said he loved him.

 

“I’m sorry, I think I just had a stroke. What did you say?”

 

Patrick laughed again and said, “You’re not having a stroke, David. I love you, okay? Rachel and I are over, for good and she made me realize I love you. I wanted to meet up with you so I could tell you in person, but, well, when you didn’t show, I, I sort of thought maybe you didn’t love me anymore.”

 

“No!” yelled David.

 

“No?” Patrick asked, sounding like he was trying not to cry.

 

“No, I meant, no, don’t think that! I still love you, Patrick! So, so much!”

 

“Oh,” said Patrick and then he burst out laughing.

 

“What’s so funny?” David asked.

 

“We are both so dumb,” said Patrick, as he continued laughing. David joined in and said, “Yes, yes we are.”

 

Once they stopped laughing, Patrick said,

 

“Let me pick you up from your hotel and take you out, okay? I still would very much like to meet you.”

 

“Okay, but you can’t take back your love once you’ve seen me.”

 

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

 

***

 

David was still pretty nervous to meet Patrick, but it was a lot more of an excited nervous this time around. He had sent Patrick the details of where he was staying. While he was waiting for him to show up, David had washed his face because it was a wreck from when he had had his freak out earlier and redone his skincare routine. He had just finished up when he heard a knock at the door. Taking one last look at himself in the mirror and taking a deep breath, he went to open the door.

 

And there he was, his good friend, hopefully someday turned more-they really needed to talk about that at some point-Patrick. The two of them just stood there looking at each other for a few moments. The way Patrick was looking at him so intently was making him feel a little uncomfortable and so he cleared his throat and said,

 

“You’re having regrets, aren’t you?”

 

Patrick quickly frowned and said,

 

“What? No! I’m just trying to savor this moment, the moment I first saw the face I will never want to forget.”

 

David was trying very hard not to blush, but he could feel his face burning up at what Patrick had said. He cleared his throat again and said,

 

“Do you maybe want to come in for a bit before we go? Or umm, if you want to just go to the restaurant, that’s fine. I’m good either way.”

 

Patrick said, “I can come in” and it was only then that David noticed he was holding his hands behind his back.

 

This mystery was quickly solved when he entered the room and extended a single red rose for David to take. The very same from the restaurant.

 

David felt the tears coming before he could do anything to stop them. Patrick set the rose down and stepped closer to him, wrapping his arms around him.

 

“What’s wrong, David?”

 

“Nothing’s wrong, Patrick. It’s just, you brought me a rose and I didn’t-,”

 

“You’re the only rose I could ever want or need.”

 

He gasped, nobody had ever said anything so romantic to him before and meant it. Plenty of people had said beautiful things to him, but primarily for the sole purpose of getting in his pants. But none of that mattered right now. Right now, he was standing in front of a gorgeous man whom he loved and whom loved him back and who was so sweet and genuine and there was only thing he wanted to do.

 

“Would it be alright if I kissed you?” he asked hesitantly.

 

“Yes,” said Patrick and then David was closing the gap between them.

 

The kiss was slow and shy at first, but then it gravitated towards one filled with passion, with things left unsaid yet understood. David never wanted to stop kissing Patrick, but he knew inevitably they would have to stop.

 

Patrick was first to pull away and David already missed the feeling of Patrick’s lips against his own.

 

Patrick looked at him, his eyes filled with so much love, and simply said, “Wow.”

 

David laughed and said, “Wow is right.”

 

Patrick took his hand in his and asked, “Are you ready to go?”

 

“Yes, I am, thank you for asking. Now that I think about it, I haven’t eaten since I was on the plane yesterday.”

 

Patrick looked at him, concerned. “What?”

 

“Yeah, as soon as we hung up the phone, I crawled into bed and slept for twelve hours and then I had to leave again to make it here.”

 

Patrick’s mouth dropped open and he said, “Oh my god, I feel like such a jerk. I completely spaced that you would be jetlagged. Will you ever forgive me?”

 

“Hmm, no, your crimes will never be forgiven. You must pay for this severely.”

 

“What about a nice dinner and some creme brulee?”

 

“That’s very tempting and it’s definitely a start, but I have something else that I am wanting too.”

 

“And what is that?”

 

“Kiss me again.”

 

***

 

When he had first gotten to Toronto, David had been excited with just how much time he had with Patrick, but as TIFF, and therefore his time with Patrick, was drawing to a close, he realized it really hadn’t been that much time at all.

 

He had all the photos, videos, and most importantly, memories of his couple of weeks with Patrick, but sadly, he had to head back to New York. Life had to continue and they both had to get back to their jobs.

 

Patrick accompanied him to the airport and wouldn’t let go the whole ride there. When they reached the airport, David pulled him in for a parting kiss, and then grabbed his bags and headed inside. He turned back around and blew a kiss to Patrick, who was trying really hard not to cry.

 

“I love you, David!” he yelled.

 

“I love you too!” he said back.

 

This was by the far the hardest thing he had ever had to do and he had dealt with a lot of shit in his life. But now he had Patrick and though he wasn’t quite sure what was in store for the both of them, he knew they would get through it together. 

 

**Fin. (But is it really though?!)**


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://docs.google.com/document/d/1hyXuDMzwSCsBKvKjBGxCMDx33QQgi9QHNQpfMONNTVs/edit?usp=sharing
> 
> This is a doc of annotations for our song choices in the playlist!

Getting back to his regular routine was really hard. Of course, he and Patrick were still able to text each other every day, but after being able to spend two glorious weeks with him, the texting and the phone calls just didn’t seem like enough.

 

He was tired of New York and he yearned for Toronto and his boyfriend. The two of them had planned up to meet up again in late October, but that was just too far away in David’s opinion.

 

Shortly after he had left Toronto, he had gotten an idea and he began work on it as soon as he had gotten back to New York. He was happy to say that his idea had been put into effect less than two weeks after he had gotten home and with that information in mind, he headed toward the airport.

 

Patrick had no idea he was coming, but that was the beauty of a surprise. As soon as Patrick had returned home, he had gotten to work on getting his own apartment and then, because David had told him he’d be sending a package his way, he had given the address to David.

 

David could not stop smiling on the entire flight to Toronto. Patrick would never see this coming and he was so excited to see him. As soon as he landed, he had a bit of a drive ahead of him, but if it was only 45 minutes between him and getting to see his boyfriend, that was something he was very okay with.

 

***

 

David parked the car, having finally arrived, and he texted Patrick.

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Oct 2, 2014 4:13pm

_ Hey, remember that package I mentioned? I’ve just been informed it’s been delivered. _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Oct 2, 2014 4:14pm

**Really? I checked the mail already and I didn’t see anything.**

 

[To Patrick] Fri. Oct 2, 2014 4:15pm

_ Well, can you check again, please? _

 

[From Patrick] Fri. Oct 2, 2014 4:16pm

**Okay, if you insist.**

 

David was standing outside Patrick’s apartment door when Patrick opened the door.

 

“Surprise!” he yelled, pulling Patrick in for a kiss.

 

“Well, I have to say, this is the best package I’ve ever received!”

 

“This is okay, right?”

 

“David? Are you serious? Of course, it’s okay! How long are you here for?”

 

David paused and then smiled widely.

 

“Well, I’m here as long as you want me to be.”

 

Patrick looked at him, confused, and then said, “Wait, what?”

 

“I sold the gallery, Patrick. I couldn’t take being in New York when the love of my life is here. I’m moving here. Don’t worry, I don’t mean like here, here, I fully intend to get my own place, but yeah, I’m moving here, if you’ll have me.”

 

Patrick kissed him again and then pulled away, sniffling.

 

“I can’t believe this.”

 

“You’re not upset, are you?”

 

“No, this is incredible! I’m just so happy, I’m speechless. Are you going to try to open a gallery here or something?”

 

“About that, I had this idea for a business.”

 

“Oh yeah?”

 

“Yeah, it’s a general store, but also a very specific store.”

 

Patrick laughed. “Oh yeah? Well, how about you come on in and tell me more about this general but also very specific store?”

 

***

 

A few months passed and a lot had happened. Patrick had quit his job, choosing instead to invest in “Rose Apothecary”-the name of David’s, well their, business. David and Patrick had decided to get an apartment of their own and were in the process of moving the last of their stuff in.

 

[From David] Sat. Feb 14, 2015 2:35pm

_ Why aren’t you here in our bed? _

 

 

[To David] Sat. Feb 14, 2015 2:38pm

**Why are you texting me when you could just come in here and ask me yourself? I’m right in the other room!**

 

 

[From David] Sat. Feb 14, 2015 2:41pm

_ I just feel like we have to revisit our roots. _

 

 

[ To David] Sat. Feb 14, 2015 2:43pm

 

**...we spent months and months only being able to text each other and so if you don’t get in here and kiss me, we’re over.**

 

 

[ From David] Sat. Feb 14, 2015 2:45pm

_ Be right there, honey.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this! You can find us on tumblr @steviebuddisalesbian and @davidpatricks


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